October 5, 2007
When She Didn't Scream Rape
Why do people think I'm a slut?
Cause you act like one
I don't care what people think
2 minits later
How do i stop them from calling me a slut?
Maybe if you stop acting like one, then people will stop calling you one
yeah well i don't care what people say
of course you don't
No really I don't
There we were laying down on a beach having just another one of our meaningless conversations, it would have been a very normal, easily forgettable night, except for what happened next.
There I was telling her about Baza's little sister...
you know Sara?
little chubby Sara? what about her?
Baza caught her having a very intense talk on the fone with someone, about how she cant live without them.
yeah i would have thought so too if she was talking to someone in her class, but turns out she was talking to a 32 year old man she met online!
WHAT! NO FREAKING WAY! WE HAVE TO STOP HER! WE HAVE TO STOP HER NOW! OH my God oh my God!! GET UP GET UP!!! I'm going to find that man and I'm going to KILL HIM!
For a second there I thought she might be kidding, but then i saw her shake, tears streaming down her face.
Whoa! Girl calm down. Come on breath, breath. Eshfeech? Whats wrong?!! Baza already has the situation under control, its OK, just calm down.
I wont let it happen again! I wont let it get that far
let what happen sweetheart?
Let him rape her! I wont let it happen again ever!
and that's how the story began
you know eshda3wa, your first love is always intense, even at 14, your first love is intense. I met him online, he was 27 back then, and man was he sweet. I always felt so unwanted, everyone had boyfriends, everyone had someone who had a crush on them, but not me, the guys always made fun of me. Then he comes along, all old and mature and so very tender. I use to go over to hala's house, remember her? then id sneak out to see him. He used to take me for long rides in his car, at first just holding my hand and kissing it, then asking me to come closer, telling me he needs me to be closer to him, closer to his heart.
Huh, when I think about it now, God I don't know how I fell for it.
It's OK you were young and well.. stupid.
No it's not OK! how did my mom not notice anything?! Why didn't she stop me! She must have known! I'm sure she did!
Sweety you think if your mom knew you were dating someone twice your age she would just turn a blind eye?
Well it was careless of her! She had no one but me! Anyways that's not the worst part of it, I trusted him, he told me he never loved anyone like he loved me, and he is willing to wait until i finish high school and he'll marry me right away! I melted in my seat of course.
Then he demanded oral sex, said if I'm going to make him wait for me that long then i better give him something to sustain him, and so I did. Time and time again he would shove my head down there and demand... you can imagine the rest. I was so happy, and yet so miserable. I loved him, and was happy that I made him happy, but I carried with me this guilt you know, images of hell always flashing in front of me. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, I had no one to talk to. Most of all i was afraid to lose him.
For our one month anniversary I thought maybe If we do something different other than cruise in his car, he wouldn't make me perform oral sex. So I invited him over to my house, on the roof.
This post is getting too long, ill tell u what happened on the roof later.