eshda3wa

October 5, 2007

When She Didn't Scream Rape


Why do people think I'm a slut?
Cause you act like one
I don't care what people think
OK

2 minits later

How do i stop them from calling me a slut?
Maybe if you stop acting like one, then people will stop calling you one
yeah well i don't care what people say
of course you don't
No really I don't
I know

There we were laying down on a beach having just another one of our meaningless conversations, it would have been a very normal, easily forgettable night, except for what happened next.
There I was telling her about Baza's little sister...

you know Sara?
little chubby Sara? what about her?
Baza caught her having a very intense talk on the fone with someone, about how she cant live without them.
how cute
yeah i would have thought so too if she was talking to someone in her class, but turns out she was talking to a 32 year old man she met online!
WHAT! NO FREAKING WAY! WE HAVE TO STOP HER! WE HAVE TO STOP HER NOW! OH my God oh my God!! GET UP GET UP!!! I'm going to find that man and I'm going to KILL HIM!

For a second there I thought she might be kidding, but then i saw her shake, tears streaming down her face.

Whoa! Girl calm down. Come on breath, breath. Eshfeech? Whats wrong?!! Baza already has the situation under control, its OK, just calm down.

I wont let it happen again! I wont let it get that far
let what happen sweetheart?

Let him rape her! I wont let it happen again ever!
again?

and that's how the story began

you know eshda3wa, your first love is always intense, even at 14, your first love is intense. I met him online, he was 27 back then, and man was he sweet. I always felt so unwanted, everyone had boyfriends, everyone had someone who had a crush on them, but not me, the guys always made fun of me. Then he comes along, all old and mature and so very tender.
I use to go over to hala's house, remember her? then id sneak out to see him. He used to take me for long rides in his car, at first just holding my hand and kissing it, then asking me to come closer, telling me he needs me to be closer to him, closer to his heart.
Huh, when I think about it now, God I don't know how I fell for it.

It's OK you were young and well.. stupid.


No it's not OK! how did my mom not notice anything?! Why didn't she stop me! She must have known! I'm sure she did!

Sweety you think if your mom knew you were dating someone twice your age she would just turn a blind eye?


Well it was careless of her! She had no one but me! Anyways that's not the worst part of it, I trusted him, he told me he never loved anyone like he loved me, and he is willing to wait until i finish high school and he'll marry me right away! I melted in my seat of course.

of course


Then he demanded oral sex, said if I'm going to make him wait for me that long then i better give him something to sustain him, and so I did. Time and time again he would shove my head down there and demand... you can imagine the rest. I was so happy, and yet so miserable. I loved him, and was happy that I made him happy, but I carried with me this guilt you know, images of hell always flashing in front of me. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, I had no one to talk to. Most of all i was afraid to lose him.

For our one month anniversary I thought maybe If we do something different other than cruise in his car, he wouldn't make me perform oral sex. So I invited him over to my house, on the roof.


This post is getting too long, ill tell u what happened on the roof later.
posted by eshda3wa at 12:15 AM

48 Comments:

7MAR! (the older a**hole)

October 5, 2007 at 1:12 AM  

wow your really leaving us hanging ha?
its really tough being a teenage girl. being totally confused, making the wrong friends, etc. etc.

funny thing is, i know a girl called baza with a younger sister called sara hehe ;p

October 5, 2007 at 1:34 AM  

so what happened next ?

October 5, 2007 at 1:37 AM  

i can guess the ending from the title. .. how sad & diturbing :/

October 5, 2007 at 2:10 AM  

NOT FARE

October 5, 2007 at 2:18 AM  

I say F. people who call others names without knowing them or just judging them from outside... you are NOT a SLUT OK! Do not say that!

As for relations... no one understands how things are untill they try it themselves, so also F. people who judge!

waiting for the continuation..

October 5, 2007 at 2:28 AM  

........................................

October 5, 2007 at 2:33 AM  

Its easy to blame others for taking advantage of our insecurities. But really, we have minds of our own. And even as teenagers, we are taught the difference between right and wrong.

If the girl felt she was doing wrong, she should have stopped going out with him.

My mom ALWAYS used to scare us about rape. To the point where I thought every guy who talked to me wanted to rape me! LOL and not LOL..

But I'd rather be scared of a guy raping me, than actually being raped.

October 5, 2007 at 3:15 AM  

question..

are all your friends like that? I mean dramatic, and have many secrets behind them? I feel like I am watching an episode in the "OC" or "Falcon beach"..lol

October 5, 2007 at 5:23 AM  

i guess i know the ending, allah yel3ena agolha o mokhayef eni baf6er, oo allah e3awthech inshala

October 5, 2007 at 7:14 AM  

3awartay galbi wallah....I feel so bad for her...maskeenah

MEN CAN BE VERY PERVERTED

October 5, 2007 at 7:18 AM  

سؤاال،،، هذي قصة ولا صج ؟؟؟

اذا صج اعتقد الواطي لازم ينذبح ولا ينسكت عنه

October 5, 2007 at 7:30 AM  

"how did my mom not notice anything?! "

Moms know what we tell them. Teenagers are pretty good at masking/hiding what is going on and keeping their parents in the dark.

October 5, 2007 at 9:00 AM  

It reminded me of a very true story that happened to someone i knew.. she didnt know him from the internet. He was a "celebrity" with all girls falling for him. I hate him

October 5, 2007 at 10:49 AM  

It wouldn't be right to blame the girl for not knowing what is right or wrong.

There are many different kinds of personalities and predators like the pervert in the post are experts at manipulating younger girls (and boys for that matter) for sex.

...Manipulated to the point where they feel guilty for having putting themselves into that situation and are too ashamed to ask for help.

October 5, 2007 at 11:13 AM  

in ramadan her story would be the best porno movie to be watched, although it isn't......!!!

in my opinion, there is no such thing as being inforced or raped against her will, she might have some rejections and reservations, but no guy how ever superiorly powerful can penetrate the girl unliss she lets him.....!!!

I might sound cruel to you but discard all the bullshit that we want to believe, the rape you are talking about is guilt altered state of mind, the term is over abused in Kuwait by girls, since the law finds any girl under 21 a minor and raped even if she was the active one......!!!

her age is not an acceptable reason for her to do oral favours to her ex-boyfriend, and isn't it funny, that during relationships, rough sex or foreplay is wanted by the girl, but when they are separated the memory of her twisted fetish becomes a nightmare called rape....!!!

DUH...
you did it with the wrong guy.....!!! of cource you did, you must have bugged him with it for sure.....!!!

real love doesn't come that easy, I am a sex-a-holic, and most of the things in my dictionary refer to parts of woman's anatomy, but in no way I had sex (or made love) to my lover, although I talk to her about every thing and anything sexual, but I never did anything to her, I love her so much that in many times I fear what would happen to her if we do it and for any reason we seperate......!!!

I'll protect her even from me.....!!!
this is love, and not other bullshit tv shows wants us to see.....!!!

girls believe what they want to believe, and having friends all over her with "fuck"-friends is not an excuse to date a 27 years old who pushed his way on her, any guy would do the same that guy did.....!!!
if we see an oppertunity we will take it, and if it takes the word married to get the girl in heat, then we will say it.....!!!

will return for debates if any.....!!!

October 5, 2007 at 11:33 AM  

oral sex after just under a month?
umm.. i dunno

October 5, 2007 at 12:31 PM  

I'm waiting for the next episode.

October 5, 2007 at 1:00 PM  

..................AHHHHH eshda3waa,,why you keep us hanging always??

bs sej that freak is 7mar..typical men

October 5, 2007 at 2:05 PM  

That is really sad that things like that happen. One of the main things is that kids go uneducated about things like that.

And because it is 3aid for the girl the name remains undiscovered. Its a damn double edged sword in this reality.

October 5, 2007 at 2:13 PM  

wallah hal mashakel ma adri men wain gamat te6la3 lena!

October 5, 2007 at 2:36 PM  

So her house roof is safer than the car? :|

October 5, 2007 at 3:58 PM  

no!! mo 9ij 9a7? maskeena :S kaalb!!! taysss!! malat 3alai.. 9ij enqathait..

October 5, 2007 at 5:08 PM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

October 5, 2007 at 5:08 PM  

Girls always have this innate fantasy in their heads that they're going to meet their man in shining armour either that or someone bad they're going to reform and change to be good. Then the first man they fall in love with will manifest those myths in their heads, despite all the wrong signs because they REALLY want it to be true- men only wanna get laid and there you have it, girl's in the trap. Pathetic..

October 5, 2007 at 5:27 PM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

October 5, 2007 at 5:27 PM  

swair
7mar shwaya 3alaih!

chirp
inter-esing!
hmmm well it is a small world after all

Majid
ill tell ya soon

joud
VERY

anonymous
nope its truly not

chikapappi
ya people are quick to point the finger and quick to assign the blame. its very sad and disturbing!

blue
i know

this lady says
when your 14 and you have low self esteem, then you find someone who tells u all the things u want to hear, she was a CHILD, and children are easily taken advantage of. she made a mistake by dating him, but he was 27! hes the one that should have known better!

Hamza
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
dont compare me to the OC!!
actually this is the only actual friend i talked about, the rest are people i know or stories i heard. the world is an ugly place!

anonymous
allah yl3na oo laywafga dinya wala akhra!!

Ghasheema
and its not like it ever goes away!
u suffer from it always!

anonymous
lilasaf its true :(

intlxpatr
i think she just wanted to blame someone other than herself

October 5, 2007 at 6:47 PM  

yara
its truly sad!

Jewaira
i totally agree, she was a child! ive seen full grown manipulated cause they were in a vulnerable place, and a child?! theres nothing easier than taking advantage of one

exzombie
where do i begin?
there is no such thing as being RAPED!
so the term was just invented for lack of words in the dictionary?!!
when you have sex with someone and they dont want to thats rape.
Many men beat woman into submissiveness, is that not rape, when a 27 year old man shoves a girl on her back and thrusts himself into her that is not rape?
and if the girl is younger than 21 the man is held accountable if hes older its because by law he should know better than to screw a minor.
Tell the woman that had someone on the street pull them by the hair and take advantage of them theres no such thing as rape, tell the kids that were raped by "wa7sh 7awale" that they let him, theres no such thing as rape

snookie
dont know wat?

Babeeee
well im waiting to see u!!

amu
ya waili!
if thats a typical man then the world 9ij mo eb khair!!

marzouq
actually its not double edge
theres just one edge
pointing at the girl
cause apparently the girl ALWAYS seduces the man
even when shes 14 and hes 27

rekoo
always been there
bs ma7ad ytkalam

hopeless poet
or so she thought

shousha
lilasaf 9ij!
malat 3alaih!

missy original
its not pathetic
its sad
and no one talks to girls about these things!

October 5, 2007 at 7:01 PM  

While I was reading I had so much to say and when I came to the end I went blank :|

but i want to say he is an A**h*** min jed.

October 5, 2007 at 8:23 PM  

انا مصدومه و من كثر صدمتي ماني عارفه شكتب بس لازم اعلق فقمت و رحت تمشيت احوس في البيت

و افكر في الموضوع عشان اقدر اكتب شي

خليني افند السالفه على اكثر من محور

اول شي انا منصعقه من بنت عمرها 14 سنه من وين لها رغبه جنسيه اصلا!!!!!



انا يوم كان عمري 14 سنه والله العظيم ما اعرف شنو السكس و رب الكعبه !!


و اورال بعد

خلينا نقول جيلنا غير او بلا بلا بلا

بس احنا بنات

و انتو كلكم كبار

ياربي الطلعه
و الروحه

و البوسه

و المسكه و اللمه

مو قصب !؟؟

الريال ما حط المسدس براسها

اهي طالعه بناء على اغواء من الرجل صح


بس يتروالي الي فيهااااا حيل سكس و اهي في هالسن

اكيد فيها عقل يفند ان هذا خرابيط


يعني اهي معترفه انها تقول عشان ابي يكمل وياي و اصبره لين يخطبني

سويت كل هذا عشانه

انا افهم هالشي لو كان بسيارته

بس اديته ((اتعزمه في بيتها !!؟؟

مهما كانت صغيره
و مهما كانت مقصوص عليها

بس مو لي هالدرجه

انا افهم ان ينقص عليها في السياره

بس ما افهم اشلون وحده تعزم واحد بيتهم
و بعدين تقول قص علي !!!


سامحوني كلكم تشوفونه مجرم
و انا بعد اشووووفه

حقير
لعب في بنت

بس البنت اسم عليها مو قاصره يعني



لو كل بنت بتقول فلان قص علي

مو عذر صح؟؟

اهووووو جذاب صح

اهووووووو حقير صح

بسسسسسس اهي قصت على نفسها و ظلمت نفسها






EXzombie said...

real love doesn't come that easy, I am a sex-a-holic, and most of the things in my dictionary refer to parts of woman's anatomy, but in no way I had sex (or made love) to my lover, although I talk to her about every thing and anything sexual, but I never did anything to her, I love her so much that in many times I fear what would happen to her if we do it and for any reason we seperate......!!!




احترمك على الصراحه
:)

اصيل

October 5, 2007 at 8:49 PM  

TOP PORTUGUESE UNIVERSAL WRITER: CRISTOVAO DE AGUIAR.

He has, also, translated into Portuguese the Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith.

He has been awarded several prizes.

Don't forget the name of this great author, you'll be hearing of him soon.

Thank you for spending time in Universal Culture.

Thanks for visiting.

October 5, 2007 at 9:18 PM  

That's weird, it says I posted twice?! I only posted once. Was it a glitch? :/

October 5, 2007 at 10:29 PM  

woooooooooooooooooow i felt sorry for her


hmmmmm waay thaaag khlgeeee

October 5, 2007 at 11:55 PM  

:(

oh my god! :(
that's so sad...
waiting for the rest :(

:**

October 6, 2007 at 12:18 AM  

a very common story...I'll wait for the rest and then I'll post my comment :)

October 6, 2007 at 1:22 AM  

I NEED TO READ THE REST!!!!! I love the first paragrah, I've had such conversations with people, usually or maybe I don't have the nerve to be as blunt but that would be what I'm thinking in my head.

ok I'm confused, I'm a new reader of your blog, which I love because me and you are on the same plane of thinking with so many things, but I'm a bit confused. Is this an actual conversation recalling actual incidents?

October 6, 2007 at 9:44 AM  

This is sooo shocking. It's so obvious that if it weren't for her insecurities she wouldn't have fallen for him. That's what those older a**holes do, come on a 14 yr old girl with a 26 yr old, you can't blame her. He's supposed to be the mature one, e7mar. I'm so shocked they were having oral sex, she did know it was wrong though since she kept imagining hell. Allah Ye3enha. It's the lack of education here, sex is always a taboo subject to talk about so you'll get most of the information from your peers. Parents should sit down their teenagers and enlighten them. I hope she's better and a stronger person now.

October 6, 2007 at 11:31 AM  

on a different note, I've added you to my blog roll, can you add me to yours :)

October 6, 2007 at 12:26 PM  

This guy is a looser, if he wasn't he'd go pick on a girl his age.

October 6, 2007 at 12:43 PM  

Dear Eshda3wa,

I hope you read what I wrote again, I never said there is no such thing as being raped.....!!!

I am talking about this kind of cases, boy meets girl, in less than a minute she is in heat and then sleeps with him, then she feels sorry and the guilt turns her to a victem.....!!!

"the rape you are talking about is guilt altered state of mind, the term is over abused in Kuwait by girls"

-getting down on a guy in the first date.

-she looked for sex, most of the girls at that age would look for the kid next door who is close to her age, a brat around her age, to grow with each other and experiment, but dating a guy with 13+ years between them, that should be fucked up.....!!!

-sucking him every time they go out... in less than a month, for the sake of Allah, I can't see my girl that often and we both are grown ups, independant, and have cars too.....!!!

how is it possible to go out that often till she reach the point of being fed up from sucking dick....!!!

-in the 1 month anneversary she invites him to her house, in the roof......!!!

you gotta be kidding me, 14 years old, I know they would sneak a guy to the bedroom, or diwania, but the roof is for someone who thought of it in advance, she knew what she was doing.....!!!

that is not rape, you want to know rape, go ask about the invasion kids (1991), whom left to die, these kids are the result of iraqies raping Kuwaiti girls, now thats rape.....!!!

you said:

"when you have sex with someone and they dont want to thats rape"

during or after....?!
we don't tick like you do, you take a long time to prepare for it, and in a second you defuse, we on the other hand need only the breez of air and we are ready, but take a longer time to get out of the mode.....!!!

and why in the first place you place yourself in a sexual situation if you don't want to have sex....!!!

I think you might know that, but in Islam, the man always has the right to sleep with his wife when ever he wants, regardles of her opinion or position in the matter, if she declines tha Angels will curse her to god knows when....!!!

can't you admit at least that they had sex, and then she changed her mind, and altered the word that described the situation from "having sex" to "rape".....!!!

you said:

"Many men beat woman into submissiveness, is that not rape, when a 27 year old man shoves a girl on her back and thrusts himself into her that is not rape?"

you are mixing things up, did he beat her into "submission".....?!?!

why didn't she scream her lungs out, why didn't she run down, why didn't she threaten him, he is by the way in her house, and that alone is frightening......!!!

besides in Kuwait, we all know that this is some what far from what really happens, guys will have anal sex, this guy is not stupid unliss invited(even if he is he'll decline) or in the case she was already deflawered.....!!!

anal sex is the best choice, you can't detect unliss sperm is found, she'd still be a virgin, and you'll have less headache......!!!

the guy was glad she gave him head, he as I suppose didn't implement that she invites him to her place, we would suggest meeting at a neutral grounds, but not at her place......?!?!

so why would he beat her on her roof.....?!?!

"and if the girl is younger than 21 the man is held accountable if hes older its because by law he should know better than to screw a minor"

yeah, well said, but what if they both were under 21 you know what happens to the guy......?!?!

are you telling me a 14 year old girl would be deff mute, brainless, and a vacume....!!!

I don't believe one second that at 14 we can't defrentiate between wright and wrong, she knew what she was doing actually the fact she was not afraid a single bit and her reasoning astonishes me, she understood that she can "keep" him by sucking his "mangina", .....

I have to cut it short now, will be back soon enshalla...

thanks

October 6, 2007 at 6:40 PM  

gloomy
7esbe allah 3alaih

lawyer
ofcourse she holds some responsibilty, but the thing your not getting is she wasnt looking for sexual pleasures, all she wanted was to be loved. movie kind love. she was a 14 year old girl with low self esteem. he was a 27 year old man who knew exactly wat he was doing. HE is the one that told her to perform oral sex 3ashan ya9ber, and yes she was wrong to fall for it, but again I say give me any 14 year old kid with emotional despair and ill have em dancing to any tune i want.

missy original
yeah so i deleted n.. madre shelsalfa

new bride
fe3lan shay ythayg elkhlg

reem
soon inshallah :**

noufa
lookin forward to it

Asoom
im sorry to say that yes this is true, very true, and im giving you guys the short less ugly version of it.

maryam
its a very difficult situation, and your right, if it wasnt for her very low self esteem, i dont think she would have fallen for it.

asoom
with pleasure

darabeel
he makes losers look good

exzombie
ill wait until you read the next part then we can carry on the debate. But let me tell you this, in this particular situation, where the girl is 14 and the guy is 27, i dont care if she made a bed of rose petals and spread herself on it, he still should have known better.
will carry on the discussion once u read the rest inshallah :)

October 6, 2007 at 7:46 PM  

wooow I heard a lot of stories and seen alot in Canada and kuwait but sweety this girl new what she was doing maybee she wanted to feeel Love mybee she hated herself ... but whats done is done I gues all I wish for is that she gets help to help herself!!

October 6, 2007 at 9:00 PM  

ya sater!

October 6, 2007 at 9:47 PM  

The word 'slut' is one of my least favourite words in the dictionary. It's so small and judgemental. So unnecessary.

When a girl is 14 she doesn't full understand the implications of sex. To her, it's about the need for love and attention and understanding. Her consent to have sex does not count. Even less so when it's with a adult man. It doesn't become 'her fault' no matter what he tells her. Or himself.

These people are sick and twisted, and as such, should be strung up by the balls and roasted on a slow burning flame.

October 6, 2007 at 9:56 PM  

OMG! yalla nabby n3rf sh9aar!! :S

October 7, 2007 at 1:59 AM  

wilted rose
yes it was all do to her lack of self esteem

um-mit3b
ya sater is right!

ri
i couldn't have said it better myself ! its a sad sad situation

October 7, 2007 at 2:02 AM  

missy
i just posted :)

October 7, 2007 at 2:57 AM  

wow, interesting really, but i hate the way you cut us off :p coulda built more suspense than "the post is getting too long" :P

October 7, 2007 at 12:04 PM  

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