July 20, 2010
All i could feel was the wetness seeping down my legs.
I knew i pissed myself but i didn't care.
you could see the stain growing at the front of my jeans, down the side of my legs.
The smell of my own piss filled my nose.
beads of sweat tickled my upper lip, but i didn't dare lift my hands to wipe them.
Did he notice my piss?
If he had, he didn't acknowledge it.
i could feel his breath at the back of my neck, his tongue in my ear.
I wont hurt u he said, just stay calm.
calm .. calm.. calm
i wanted to fight back.
I wanted to kick and scream.
I wanted to scratch him.
Get his skin under my nails, like iv seen on tv.
all those self defense classes i took were all in preparation of this moment.
But as his tongue worked its way down my neck,
and his hands grazed my breast almost tenderly, i had no energy in me.
I pissed myself. I cant believe i pissed myself.
i could feel his teeth biting down on my shoulder.
It should have hurt me , but it didn't. i was beyond feeling.
my legs couldn't hold me anymore, so i collapsed.
I felt his grip tighten around my waste and his hand pulled my hair snapping my head backwards.
stand up bitch!
i wanted to. I didn't want to anger him, but i couldn't.
I could see myself.
my soul was standing in the corner of the damp bathroom. watching my body get violated.
My hair, my beautiful locks held in his filthy hands.
and my piss, my piss staining my good jeans.
he let go of my hair and started to unbuckle my belt.
Its gna happen.
Its gna happen right now.
he let me fall to the floor, and my head banged hard.
I wish it would have knocked me out so i wouldn't witness what would happen next.
he took off his pants and started masturbating.
watch me bitch.
look at me you filthy whore.
I watched myself watching him.
My eyes glazed over.
he got on top of me. we lay in a twisted, awkward position.
tell me you want me he whispered.
tell me !
his mouth covered mine.
I could feel the small tiles poking my hips.
Im sure its gna bruise.
then i felt it.
bile rising in my throat.
His tongue invading my mouth.
my stomach acids causing a burning sensation.
I threw up.
Right in his mouth.
barfed all over him,
all over me.
I never felt so happy.
he got off of me and kicked me in the ribs.
It should have hurt, i know it should have.
crazy bitch he said
and kicked me on the head.
everything started blissfully spinning.
met him in a bathroom there he took my life,
met him in a bathroom stabbed me with his knife