eshda3wa

July 20, 2010

Violated




All i could feel was the wetness seeping down my legs.

I knew i pissed myself but i didn't care.

you could see the stain growing at the front of my jeans, down the side of my legs.

The smell of my own piss filled my nose.

beads of sweat tickled my upper lip, but i didn't dare lift my hands to wipe them.

Did he notice my piss?

If he had, he didn't acknowledge it.

i could feel his breath at the back of my neck, his tongue in my ear.

I wont hurt u he said, just stay calm.

calm .. calm.. calm

i wanted to fight back.

I wanted to kick and scream.

I wanted to scratch him.

Get his skin under my nails, like iv seen on tv.

all those self defense classes i took were all in preparation of this moment.

But as his tongue worked its way down my neck,

and his hands grazed my breast almost tenderly, i had no energy in me.

I pissed myself. I cant believe i pissed myself.

i could feel his teeth biting down on my shoulder.

It should have hurt me , but it didn't. i was beyond feeling.

my legs couldn't hold me anymore, so i collapsed.

I felt his grip tighten around my waste and his hand pulled my hair snapping my head backwards.

stand up bitch!

i wanted to. I didn't want to anger him, but i couldn't.

I could see myself.

my soul was standing in the corner of the damp bathroom. watching my body get violated.

My hair, my beautiful locks held in his filthy hands.

and my piss, my piss staining my good jeans.

he let go of my hair and started to unbuckle my belt.

Its gna happen.

Its gna happen right now.

he let me fall to the floor, and my head banged hard.

I wish it would have knocked me out so i wouldn't witness what would happen next.

he took off his pants and started masturbating.

watch me bitch.
look at me you filthy whore.

I watched myself watching him.

My eyes glazed over.

he got on top of me. we lay in a twisted, awkward position.

tell me you want me he whispered.

tell me !

his mouth covered mine.

I could feel the small tiles poking my hips.

Im sure its gna bruise.

then i felt it.

bile rising in my throat.

His tongue invading my mouth.

hard, urgent.

my stomach acids causing a burning sensation.

his tongue,
the tiles,
my piss.

I threw up.

Right in his mouth.

barfed all over him,

all over me.

I never felt so happy.

he got off of me and kicked me in the ribs.

It should have hurt, i know it should have.

crazy bitch he said

and kicked me on the head.

everything started blissfully spinning.

met him in a bathroom there he took my life,
met him in a bathroom stabbed me with his knife
posted by eshda3wa at 12:30 AM

28 Comments:

I really don't know if this was an imaginative piece or something based on a real ordeal, I'd have to say I loved the pace, but the whole idea of rape always unsettles me, Its an ugly act.
But I'm curious to know how she got there? It all started by her *pissing herself*, how was she there? when obviously she was afraid.

July 20, 2010 at 12:40 AM  

I have mixed emotions :S madree what to comment on, did u write this?

July 20, 2010 at 12:53 AM  

=s

July 20, 2010 at 7:54 AM  

scary :s

July 20, 2010 at 11:19 AM  

I miss reading this kind of sex poem, it actually made my day, sorry but I started to imagine while reading it.. aaaah

but why violated?
are you ok?

July 20, 2010 at 11:45 AM  

I hope that's not a true story . . .

July 20, 2010 at 3:54 PM  

better put an "adult content" filter message for this coz it's kinda erotica, and blogspot do check from time to time, you dont want them to ask you to take this off becoz you dont have the "adult content"

July 20, 2010 at 3:58 PM  

OMG

speechless.......

ur amazing

July 20, 2010 at 4:08 PM  

PD
the part leading up to the bathroom is left for ur imagination

DD
yes i did

standy
:S

shushu
i guess a part of it was ment to be

AP
its rape, and rape is the act of getting violated

Anon
it was inspired by one, but this is not a true story

Anon
i dont know how to do that

AOAO
oh mi god!
its been forever since iv seen u around!!

ur amazing!!

July 20, 2010 at 9:15 PM  

I was reading The Lovely Bones and the girl gets rapped before he kills her. This feels a lot like her situation.
Interesting piece. I like.

July 21, 2010 at 3:33 AM  

Sorry but I thought was a kinky sex. I duno I just like the rape act then :X

July 21, 2010 at 3:39 AM  

^^ I love the lovely bones movie bs I'm confused shloon rape n the victim feels happy its where ur wrote...

July 21, 2010 at 1:21 PM  

Nice write. Very descriptive and poignant you can actually "see" and "feel" it. Kudos

July 21, 2010 at 4:09 PM  

extremely disturbing and im not ashamed to concede that i didnt have the guts to finish reading it, sorry

July 21, 2010 at 5:40 PM  

I held my breath while reading it scared me

Miss you and your blog <3

July 21, 2010 at 5:45 PM  

SC
i loove the lovely bones!

AP
the victim feels happy she vomited all over him

Ali m
thank u

teme
im flattered?

gloomy
gloomyyyy
so good to see u
missed u tooo !

July 21, 2010 at 10:38 PM  

thats scary =s

July 24, 2010 at 1:51 PM  

JE
yes it is

July 24, 2010 at 8:07 PM  

Girl
Mashalla you can write about anything no matter what and it still going to be appealing to read. Having said that.. this is how my face was till I got to the last part :O :O :O :O :O :O

July 27, 2010 at 8:57 AM  

that was so disturbing however i wonder why i didnt stop reading....

hats up miss...you're awesome

July 27, 2010 at 9:36 PM  

Nicely written! I was disturbed!!!

July 28, 2010 at 8:49 AM  

Great piece i salute you! O 3ala all those ppl who posted negative comments.. AGOUL ESHDA3WA 3ALAIKUM :P .. seriously! Awesome.. very creative.

July 28, 2010 at 4:47 PM  

faith
hehe
exactly the reaction i was hoping for!

Fnk
thank you !

ansam
heey
been a while since iv seen u here!
thankx

spaaz
hehehe
you gotta take all the negative comments in stride :)
thank u soo much!

July 28, 2010 at 6:56 PM  

OMG!! this like totally like disturbing! like totally post feminist-gay-Kafka like that like! :^P

long time no read! I hope all is good senorita :^)

August 12, 2010 at 6:22 AM  

is this your rape fantasy?

August 12, 2010 at 5:46 PM  

Moos
its been ages!
where did u disappear to ?!
glad u liked it !

Anon
no
is it yours?

August 15, 2010 at 1:49 PM  

I must say I am amazed with what I have read. The feelings are so solid and overwhelming that I felt her, heart to heart -- her fear and my compassion.

Regardless, the man's ruthless lust and apathetic heart was beautifully written. Might it be weird calling that beautiful? His emotions indeed were not. Beautiful was the talent that perfected delivering those feelings.

August 23, 2010 at 1:14 AM  

Wow, im speechless...i loved how you portrait the whole story i could actually picture it in my mind the whole thing...there is nothing that scares me more than the word rape
Amazing job i must say (Y)

October 31, 2010 at 9:18 PM  

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