eshda3wa

November 18, 2007

NO




Just say NO

I can understand why some people have trouble saying no to others.
But the fact of the matter is, it is not rude to turn someone down when you really don't have the time or the capability to help them out!
Whats worse is when someone knows you don't have the time or the capability to do something and they still ask you!
That is just plain rude and inconsiderate so it should be easier for you to turn them down!!

I have always been a pleaser (is that a word?). Always striving for people to like me, offering to do things and putting a lot of time and effort into it. As I grew older, it kept getting harder, and so I discovered the wonderful magic of the word NO!


Embrace it people! It makes life happy!



NO NO NO!!!



posted by eshda3wa at 3:31 PM

38 Comments:

well, I know what you're trying to do here bas it's easier said than done; I have this problem too, just can't say No, especially to those %@^^%! who deserve it!

November 18, 2007 at 4:01 PM  

so true... i love that word :p

i practise it alot in school hehe

November 18, 2007 at 4:56 PM  

n...o? n....o? nope, sorry, mu rathya ti6la3 min 7alji:p sa3at "yes" ti6la3 gabil la afakir ib what they're asking me to do because i'm a pleaser too:/

November 18, 2007 at 5:34 PM  

It's not easy and yeah me too I am a pleaser too.. Find it hard to say no. I say it to my kids though, not that they listen lol!

November 18, 2007 at 5:55 PM  

I never found it hard to say no, thanks to dad.

November 18, 2007 at 6:37 PM  

wallaah ana 7alty chethii ;( oo 3ala goltech 7ata lma yadroon ena i don't have the tiime ya6leboon elli yaboonah eb kel w8a7aa 3adii ;'(

November 18, 2007 at 7:41 PM  

-NO-
My favorite word *Sigh*

November 18, 2007 at 8:17 PM  

and doesn't it just feel sooooooo good to say no?

November 18, 2007 at 8:38 PM  

its never easy to say NO … but at some point we need to learn how to say that word .. I hate saying no to people .. it makes me feel bad that I can help out and I just simply refused .. but then again I started to see that some people would take me for granted .. so i had to learn how to say no !

November 18, 2007 at 8:58 PM  

I'm 100% like you, I used to try so hard! but now I only work with good friends, other then that I don't even bother! I let people do what they want and I give it to them very straight! Don't care about how they feel, if they can't take it then don't ask!

November 18, 2007 at 9:51 PM  

One of the first words people babies learn is no. I seems to be the first word people don't use. el meshkela here in kuwait, and probably other similar places, ppl feel obliged.. lazem ejamloon mayser egolon la! cause 3aib!

November 18, 2007 at 10:08 PM  

we're going to a cuddling party soon, and the one thing that they encouraged us to do is JUST SAY NO if you dont wanna cuddle with one of the people!

relevant?

November 18, 2007 at 11:56 PM  

I like to do things that wud make ppl like me to, but the word No is never absent in my vocabulary. If u never say no and if ur a total "pleaser", ppl will take advantage of u. Inability to say no means u always put ppl ahead of u which is a big mistake. Am not saying one shud be selfish, but u shud never put ma9la7at '3airich ahead of ma9la7tich.

November 18, 2007 at 11:56 PM  

chika
practice!

swair
lol
zain etsaween

dandoon
well dandoon u definitely need to try, seriously u would be alot happier!

shayouma
hehe
i know its hard
i still have trouble, but im getting better!

amethyst
thats great!

zi-one
then say NO!

oreomadness
i love it too!!

asoom
yep!

navy girl
we all have to learn at some point

marzouq
good for you, i still get put on the spot sometimes, but i am getting better!!

N
sa7, society does put alot of pressure on put people before yourself, but times have changed and people sayra ma teste7i!!

November 18, 2007 at 11:58 PM  

I loved all the comments above .. and i realized im not the only "pleaser" and yes comes out before no...

I get pressured into things i dont want coz i cant say no.. lai meta? Thats it khala9 NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO for every single thing i dont want

November 19, 2007 at 12:11 AM  

once ur convinced theres nothing wrong in saying NO .. saying it will just make u feel so good.

November 19, 2007 at 12:13 AM  

I think most people think of themselves as pleasers, but i think that it out of selfishness we help others, and not selflessness, because in the end we get the satisfaction of helping. *feeling thoughtful*

November 19, 2007 at 12:45 AM  

heh..easy for you to say. there are situations that saying "no" would cause the receiving party to become depressed and inclined more to become suicidal.

I don't wanna feel that guilty.

November 19, 2007 at 8:25 AM  

waaaaiiii i would love to be able to use NO!!!
really :(

it's starting to hurt.. people r just selfish n i cnt take it anymore!

NO NO NO!!!

:*

November 19, 2007 at 9:31 AM  

you scream my language! people MUST keep it real and stop the crowd pleasing (trying myself)

November 19, 2007 at 10:15 AM  

heheh i have just started to use the word

November 19, 2007 at 11:28 AM  

No is soooooo relaxing, tried it lost friends which proved they weren't friends :D

November 19, 2007 at 11:33 AM  

Pleaser, I guess another word would be accomidator if it really existed.
But ya, time is a resource of yours that can't be compensated.
It is your absolute right to choose whether to help or not even if u had the time, and if you don't then it wouldn't be fair for you to go through it.

November 19, 2007 at 11:43 AM  

I used to be a people please until I realized that when you say “yes” ALL THE TIME, people don’t appreciate the sacrifice you are making. They actually think you like putting off your own needs for their sake. So I have now come to the following conclusion:
When you say “yes” all the time, you don’t have time to take care of your own needs, when you don’t take care of your own needs, you become alienated with your soul, when you become alienated with your own soul you become depressed and cranky, when you become cranky you snap at people. When you snap at someone you make that person cranky as well, when that person becomes cranky he/she will snap at someone else, and this would lead to a wave of cranky snappy individuals in our society.
So for the good of humanity and mankind, I stopped saying ‘yes’ :D

November 19, 2007 at 12:09 PM  

i often say no, but still not enough, i still get u know

November 19, 2007 at 1:15 PM  

i find it hard to say no to ppl coz i dont want to hurt them but lately i've started saying no sorry, asfah ma3aleesh and so forth and i dont feel bad.

November 19, 2007 at 1:46 PM  

This is pleasing people type problem
!!!

And I’m one of them oh my god it's really hard to say it

Even if you know that you will be the one effected!!

November 19, 2007 at 2:14 PM  

you should be able to find the right balance between things you dont enjoy doing, dont mind doing, and dont want to do at all. dont be a pushover, but dont be a total jerk either :D

November 19, 2007 at 2:34 PM  

If the person is worth going far to help I would definitely say yes, but if the person is rude or wa'9i7 inna il salfa ma9la7a I say no in a way that makes this person feel embarressed that the cover is blown.

November 19, 2007 at 2:59 PM  

well..through the posts reading I have done in ur blog..I noticed that your very farnk person..ya3ni t86enha in the face :)...so saying no is not hard for you...
ok here you are my experience..

I am very nice person..and I try to treat my ppl in a very nice way..you are right..some ppl had problems saying no..I was one of them...however I trained my self to be nice as much as I to protect myself n not being everyon'e usage...honestly i learned that from Americans who I had to deal with here in the web or even in real life :)....

so I give 10/10 3ala hal post..good one ;)

November 19, 2007 at 7:11 PM  

NQ
u should JUST SAY NO to alot of things my love :*

shoush
i totally agree
its good that u find a balance

Yara
no sweetie
ur definitly not alone when it comes to being a pleaser
and once u start saying no ull feel liberated!

bride to be
exactly!

vixen
u remind me of pheobe and joey in friends

hamza
eshda3wa suicidal!
sometimes saying yes will cause u to kill urself

reem
u can do it babe!
dont let ppl take advantage of u!
<-- HUG

hammoddee
yes! we have to learn where to set boundaries

new bride
good 4 u!!

November 19, 2007 at 7:30 PM  

elijah
ur definitely better off!

kaos
its all about finding a balance!

mirror polisher
tahnk u for saving mankind and humanity as we know it!

princess
i know

gloomy
thats good!

eng.pet
but u have to learn!
all that stress gives wrinkles!

ammaro.com
true, its a very think line, people are very easily offended, so ur left with the choice of either hurting them or hurting urself!

nazgul
im still taking baby steps, i try not to embarrass the other person, even when they totally deserve it!

desert-roses
i am frank in my opinions, and i do hold my ground, but when it comes to saying no and risking hurting someones feelings, i have a long way to go, but im definitely getting there :)

November 19, 2007 at 7:41 PM  

nah..I know you wouldn't hurt someone..and your smart enough to get through it...

my fault i didnt let you get it 3adel.. :P 3adi I always say shits...

however, shall we be careful all the times not hurting ppl's feeling? hmm sometimes we do bdon 8a9d :)...I confess I do it alot..specially when I get selfish :/

November 19, 2007 at 8:06 PM  

There are people that don't understand "NO" it gets REALLY annoying, no matter how much you emphasize it.

November 19, 2007 at 8:56 PM  

I have a bad case of always saying yes :(

ma biddi!

I recently started saying no. It feels like shit but you don't realize how good the feeling is until you finally do something for yourself one time finally when all the time you have been helping others.

November 20, 2007 at 1:57 PM  

t9adgeen i have this bad logic .. kella agool yes 7ta lo i cant! :/

I tried to say no sometimes .. but some people think I was harsh a lil bit :x

I said SOME .. but ok lets say NO this time & see :D

thanx!

November 21, 2007 at 3:10 AM  

learning to say no is the best way to go. don't get stuck in the evil trap of always wanting to please ppl.. it gets you know where and ppl will walk all over you at every turn... and it gets worse when you get into the corporate world or into a profession. it's like ppl know and will prey upon you.

glad that you're learning early... just don't let go of that word!

November 23, 2007 at 10:21 AM  

its hard 2 say it sometimes !!

eeeee5 i hate to be me :(

December 2, 2007 at 4:21 PM  

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