January 5, 2009
We spent a year trying to figure out what was wrong with her.
Taking her from one doctor to the next.
Everyone gave me a different view, opinion, a lead to follow.
It always amounted to nothing.
It got so bad, so severe, she started showing signs of kidney failure.
The first time I heard it I did not know what it was.
My daughter was starving herself to death.
That same week we flew her to a rehab clinic in london that specializes in children who suffer from anorexia and depression.
I did not want anyone to know.
I felt ashamed.
My daughter was reduced to skin and bone.
All I wanted was for my daughter to get better.
To have a childhood devoid of battling demons.
Little did i know id be fighting a battle of a different kind.
I already felt responsible, and living in a small country like kuwait, news travels fast.
I was always bombarded with questions I could not answer.
Why did she get like that?
I dont know
Was she absued?
you think i abuse my daughter
How could you let it get this bad.
I did not let it! I did not intentionally let my daugher whither away.
Peoples ignorance about anorexia was getting to me.
I felt attacked from every direction.
I was getting depressed and angry, but I couldnt deal with my emotions, I had to be strong for my daughter.
I dont think im strong enough.
I dont know if I can go through this again.
I cant express my anguish because ill be judged. Branded a bad mother.
I already feel like one every time I look into my daughters eyes.
If I could take the desease and infect my mind with it I would.
If I could take my soul and breath it into my daughers body I would.
But I cant, theres nothing I can do except take her back to rehab.
The place that for a while helped her and gave her new ideas on how to hurt herself.
My hands are tied.
My heart is in constant pain.
I cant remember the last time I felt normal.
Not even happy, just normal.
*this is a true story as told by the girls mother*