eshda3wa

March 20, 2009

I Feel The Ground Move Under My Feet


There is only one specific moment in my life when i felt my whole world tumbling down.
when i felt everything i know and hold dear shatter to a million pieces .

I remember the date .. july 2nd.
I remember where i was sitting, what i was wearing.
I remember how slowly, very slowly, the room went blank.

and all i wanted to do was cover my ears with both my hands and scream.
Scream till i had no voice left. Scream till i fall over from utter exhaustion.

I never wanted to feel that way ever again. Ever.

But today, my world shifted again.
My head is pounding, and for the first time in 3 years im struggling to keep my anger at bay.

I want to bang my head against the wall and split it in half like a ripe watermelon just to stop the pounding.

I'm scared and confused.

When did this happen. How could i have ignored all the signs?
and i did ignore them. Until it hit me right in the gut.

The sound of fist to flesh woke me.

I could taste the blood in my mouth, although no one laid a hand on me.

In times like these i never underestimate the power of prayer.

اللهم لا أسألك رد القضاء ولكن أسألك اللطف فيه

i need your prayers. I need this to go away. I need it t be nothing more than my imagination. I need to fix it right now.
Please God.
Please
posted by eshda3wa at 12:30 AM

36 Comments:

لا أراكم الله مكروها
keep praying hun & inshallah it'll pass in no time

March 20, 2009 at 12:39 AM  

[link]

صوته مريح =)

March 20, 2009 at 12:47 AM  

No here's a full one
http://shiavoice.com/play-16305.html

March 20, 2009 at 12:50 AM  

im sorry sis, i hope that whatever youre going through is solved, and my thoughts and prayers are with you...

inshallah allah ystejeeb du3a2ich ow du3a2y …remember qadar Allah wa ma sha2a fa3l..

March 20, 2009 at 12:54 AM  

i really hope things get better with you.. I know he feeling it happened to me too.. I really wish it didn't have to happen.. I want to erase it but i can't :( Allah yi3eeenich I think no one deserves to feel that way..

I will remember you in my prayers..

March 20, 2009 at 1:13 AM  

what happened ;/

allah e3enich ;*

March 20, 2009 at 1:23 AM  

allah e9abrich 3ala mu9abich.. oo enshallah everything turns out well at the end =*

March 20, 2009 at 1:38 AM  

Inshallah everything will be fine.

March 20, 2009 at 2:08 AM  

*hug* Allah yhadi balek babe... if I could be a listener, don't hesitate :)

March 20, 2009 at 4:14 AM  

ismila 3laich :*

March 20, 2009 at 7:29 AM  

Allah ysahil o yfarij 3anich on whatever it is that's bothering you.

March 20, 2009 at 8:36 AM  

9aly rak3teen oo asta5fry allah, oo inshallah maykoon ila ta5yelatech

March 20, 2009 at 10:33 AM  

7abeebti inshala it goes away

March 20, 2009 at 3:04 PM  

May GoD Be With Ya
Hope everything will get better really soon InShallah

March 20, 2009 at 3:35 PM  

im lost shway... bs allah y3eeenech 7beeebty ;***

March 20, 2009 at 3:55 PM  

Allah be with you, prayers are accepted in the needest moments pray hard!! God bless you!!

March 20, 2009 at 4:27 PM  

I prayed.

March 20, 2009 at 7:57 PM  

Awww, sweety..
5aleey emanej ballah qweey o inshallah shedah o tzool b7ag
m7amad o ahl baitah ela6har!
Allah kareem :**
Inshallah monaseetej beldo3a2 ..

March 20, 2009 at 10:02 PM  

Oh sweetheart

I am really worried about you

Inshalla 5air ya rab!

March 20, 2009 at 10:40 PM  

7abeebty intay
ya rab kil shi y9eer a7san
u have to pray ,, and inshallah we will all pray for you, just have faith in God and inshallah kil shi will be fine ,, its just a matter of time ..

March 20, 2009 at 11:55 PM  

enshallah khair!

March 20, 2009 at 11:57 PM  

matestahlain
emwafega inshala

March 21, 2009 at 10:55 AM  

my prayers r with u
insha Allah it will pass in no time

March 21, 2009 at 11:58 AM  

7abeeebty !!!!!!!

u scared me ><

i hope everything ok !
allah eyaser omooorich sweetie !

March 21, 2009 at 12:16 PM  

allahuma ej3alhu 5airan...

My god bless you with the peace and inshallah all this will be over very soon... my prayers and thoughts are with you..

March 21, 2009 at 12:37 PM  

i hpoe everything is ok now..
just keep praying..
6amnena 3alaich :*

March 21, 2009 at 12:50 PM  

بسم الله عليج من كل مكروه...

March 21, 2009 at 2:10 PM  

Alah ekoon fee 3oonich inshalla!

March 21, 2009 at 2:19 PM  

Are you ok :-*?
Call me if you need anything dear!

March 21, 2009 at 4:05 PM  

I hope everything is ok now!!

I was just passing by to tell you that you have an award waiting for you here :)

http://desertrosebooklogue.blogspot.com/2009/03/sisterhood-award.html

Please come and pick it up ;)

March 21, 2009 at 4:17 PM  

"Etklt 3alek ya allah fa akfni ma hamni"
Say thia a lot tra it really does help it helped me a lot
And kathri minute alest'3far marrah kathri mnah 6ool ma enti mashyash it does wonders bs ahm shay thkr allah o aldo3a2 and inshallah ya galbi everything will be alright
Love u :*

March 21, 2009 at 4:47 PM  

EVERYONE

thank you all for you prayers.
Inshallah INSHALLAH everything will be fine.
And hopefully god will give me strength to pull through

thank you!

March 21, 2009 at 7:28 PM  

May god be with you... I'll keep you in my prayer

enshallah mako ella el.5air

March 21, 2009 at 8:40 PM  

Allah isahil 3alaich inshallah..

March 22, 2009 at 12:14 AM  

What on earth is happening in Q8?

Why is all girl blogger out there have a shocking situation and her life turned upside down?!?!!?!?

Eshsayer?!?!??!

Why are people being mean!!!!

Honey do not worry u r strong. Insha2 allah u will get through this. All i can say is if u need any help at all, plz do not worry we are here for you :(

March 22, 2009 at 9:56 AM  

الله يريح قلبج

March 22, 2009 at 7:13 PM  

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