February 21, 2007

To Help or Not To Help

I have heard/read about how when people are in a crowd they are less likely to react and help someone because they depend on the next person to do it.
I never thought about it until...

A few months back a 26 year old American woman i know told me her story

I was really hungry, and it was around midnight, so i decided to leave my hawalli apartment and drive to the restaurant street to buy shawermas. After i bought my dinner, i noticed a car with two men following me. I stopped at a red traffic light and one of the men got out of the car and came knocking on my window, i ignored him and as soon as the traffic light turned green i sped off. They were still following me, so i didn't want to drive back home, instead i headed towards Plaza mall salmiya. Costa coffee there was crowded, many men in (making a hand gesture over her head to indicate a ghetra) were having coffee outside, and i saw a security guard. so i thought it would be safe to wait a while in the parking lot till the two men drove off. I parked my car and started stuffing my face with my shawerma. I rolled down my window to throw out the wrapper, when the guy from the car appeared out of no where and grabbed me. He opened the car door and pulled me out. I started screaming!! HELP !! HEELLLP! The guy started hitting me, trying to get me into his car! I could smell alcohol on his breath! He beat me so hard, on my face, my stomach, he started grabbing my private parts. I begged for help, but no one moved a muscle! The security guard was right there!
I don't know how I did it, but i managed to wrestle free and get in my car. i sped off and went to the police station. Where the cops where of no help at all, they could hardly speak English, they were rude and openly mocking me and laughing at me!

Now i wont get into the fact that our police force has a lot of short comings, i was extremely surprised/shocked/ashamed, that such a thing happened in Kuwait, and that NO ONE not one person tried to help that poor woman. Not even the security guard, who's job title apparently is just a decoration.
I apologize to that poor woman on behalf of the so called men that were sitting there enjoying their coffee while she got beat up by a drunk!
posted by eshda3wa at 2:01 AM


omg wallah maskeena....its bad enough to be a stranger in a country you dont know much about...

whats wrong with our people??

I think 7ob "el6omasha" kan msay6er 3la everyone that was if its a movie not reality

and the police...sha gool??? wallah haram fihum rawatebhum!!!

February 21, 2007 at 6:18 AM  

@@ .. YAWK
Note to self:
Never leave home after Nine.
Wegoloon il Kwait Dawlat aman?

February 21, 2007 at 9:48 AM  

man i really feel sorry to what happened to you there ... really WTF
and no one moved a muscle!!!
pretty sure you hate all Kuwaitis now

February 21, 2007 at 11:26 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 21, 2007 at 1:07 PM  

omg poor she.. sorry to hear that!

those men who were sitting their sipping their fucking coffee werent men enough! * sigh..... sh9aar fel khalejeeyen :s*

life has changed my dear:(

February 21, 2007 at 1:08 PM  

imnawra my blog ;*
and i would love to know the answer to whats wrong with our people!
as for the police, they are a disgrace!

no sweety elkuwait ma 3adat nfs gabel, wana scare urself more read erzulies blog, and buy urself mase!

american woman(via sms):
thank you, and no i dont hate all kuwaities,although i do resent the men there were only watching me, especially the security gaurd who turned his back. i left kuwait 4 days after the incident and went back to florida, but i'm back now. i know this could have happened to me anywhere. I am alot more careful, never leave my house after 10pm alone.

Life has change, and sorry to say not for the better, sad isnt it.

February 21, 2007 at 2:45 PM  

OMG what the hell !!! how can that happen and IN Q8 !! 3ala sheno Men .. and the poor girl went to plaza thinkning it might be safe to be in a crowded place, the secuirty the police GOD walah they're all (ifashlon)

See that what give US q8is a bad name.. PpL like those ;(

February 21, 2007 at 3:24 PM  

Yeah ! i once happend to walk through the "mataam Street ' in Slamiya with my wife at 2am . We were comming back from the beach and couldnt get a taxi so thought of crossing Matam st... That was a nightmare..... I can still see the fearful face of my wife to this day !

What about those people who kidnap and rape innocnent women pretending to be cops !

February 21, 2007 at 3:36 PM  

No place is safe now! More and more we are becoming like Newyork!

And it is possible that those guys themselves are cops who just finished their shift and having fun!
There is a big difference between the cops we see on TV shows and the ones in reality!

February 21, 2007 at 6:09 PM  

What the hell is going on in Kuwait?!
More and more drunk people are shown off, more murders, rapes, and robberies. This is not Kuwait which WAS the county of peace!!

Sorry to hear such a story happened here in our country. So bad! poor woman and DAMN to who were interestingly looking at her without even helping her and DAMN to those cops who are bil2a9il 7othala.

What can say? Ertifa3 '6a'36y 7asbyalla 3ala elly kan elsibab Z-[

February 21, 2007 at 7:01 PM  

OMG! That's disgusting!

Yeah security guards piss me off in Kuwait because they are just there as an appearance they never ever do anything, I've seen them stand idly while fights are breaking out..

Apparently, I heard somewhere that if a woman is being sexually molested she shouldnt scream help because ppl will not likely come to her aid, instead she should scream fire. Twisted logic I know :s

February 21, 2007 at 8:22 PM  

Hmm.. Salam 3alaikom

I'm gonna be pedantic here and say:
o shako ballah emba6la dereeshat'ha etge6 el wrapping o etwasekh showare3na? :|

I'm gonna be skeptical and say:
ya3ni en6arooha lain etkhalle9 9amoonat'ha? Interesting!

I'm gonna be forgiving and say:
yemken ma kan 3endaha 7eta khobeza o jebna fel bait or cornflakes o ehy khalas betmoot men el you3, fa she HAD to go out after midnight men 7awalli lain el salmiya to buy something to eat.

And finally am gonna be realistic and say:
welcome to new Kuwait :/

I think the security guy is most probably Egyptian; i.e. won't even think of getting involved in such fights. As for the guys who were enjoying their coffee: (1) keep looking out for her clip on YouTube or via Bluetooth; (2) some maybe thought it was a lovers' quarrel and it's not their business. and (3) Unfortunately, most Kuwaitis are just indifferent :|

cixousianpanic is so right about the help cry!

PS. Sorry for the long comment. I tend to dwell a lot :|

February 21, 2007 at 8:33 PM  

they do ifashloon, and we have to be careful cause we know were nt gna get any help from anyone!

happy wolf
GOD! and she had a man with her! i can only imagine wat would have happened if she was alone! sorry u had to go thru that

hopeless poet
the things we hear about cops!! the question is how do we fix this problem?

sorry refa3t thagh6ech
a couple of weeks back my cousin while driving back home, stopped at a baqala to buy something, and a guy just got in the car with him and told him to drive him to f7ai7eel. The guy was so damn drunk, my cousin got him out of the car and he couldnt stand up.
so country of peice is no more.

February 21, 2007 at 8:38 PM  

security gaurd arnt trained to do anything in kuwait. they shouldnt be called security, they should be called the door man.
and ill keep in mind the call for fire, hopefully ill never use it!

wa3alaikom elsalam walra7ma
about the throwing the wrapper, lol, i actually said the same thing to her.
and how nice of the drunk rapist to wait for her to eat, sweet sa7?
about the security gaurd being egyptian, thats the problem with our system, beacuse hes a non kuwaiti hes too afraid to get involved o y6la3 weld flan o 3elan, instead of being incouraged to do his job right.
even if it was a lovers quarrel u dont just sit there and watch a man beat up a woman! thats just wrong!

Finally, ur comments can be as long as u like :)

February 21, 2007 at 8:48 PM  

oh myyy goodness!

Is she still in Kuwait? I doubt it, poor woman.

Well, another reason for not helping someone/stopping a fight; from a woman's point of view at least, is that you don't want to get any "6eshar" mn il fight. So you keep safe yourself.

So I think that's one main reason, people's avoidance of fights and problems.

Would you jump in and fight the drunk off her?

February 22, 2007 at 2:14 AM  

oh my god, poor woman....why wouldnt anyone help??

February 22, 2007 at 2:43 AM  

One word: wija3

February 22, 2007 at 7:49 AM  

OMG! Poor woman!! What else can you expect from Kuwait police,LOL! And those men - shame on them!!
I have been in Kuwait for more than 6 years, and have heard quite a few stories. Never go out alone late at night..It's just not safe.

February 22, 2007 at 9:10 AM  

Im suprised no one moved a muscle =/ ana ib landan o i was about to stop these 2 guys fighting bes hawant cause i was in landan o should something happen id be dragged in o cops o atwhag cuz ana i3rbi o both of them english bes 7ata ihnak ppl just stood and stared ma7ad sawa shay.

February 22, 2007 at 1:21 PM  

Thanks a lot dear :D 3ayal kella betlageeni katbatlich majallat mo comments :)

As for that story, with all due respect, but the more I think about it, the more I believe it's not true. Not that it couldn't happen, but just..maybe the good in me thinking there MUST've been someone out there who could have helped in such a situation.

But it could just be me :)

So the moral of the story is??
Do NOT go out after midnight :P

February 22, 2007 at 2:22 PM  

she left right after the incident but shes back now
as a girl no i wouldnt have jumped in, chan 7a6ne oo kafakhne ma3aha, bs when theres 20 men sitting there, i think 2 would have gotten the job done

ive been trying to figure that out

khair elkalam ma.. (mo7aftha tha mathal but u know wat im trying to say)

ur rite its not safe, and now that u know ppl r not gna help u, so it really not safe!

which brings me back to ppl are less likely to react in a crowd. When its too men fighting thats one thing, but to watch a man beat up a woman... what is the world comming to

i would love to believe that its not true, but i saw her bruised face. Sad but true
LoL u got the morale right
(ill be looking forward to ur majallat)

February 22, 2007 at 2:36 PM qalla wa dal

Why am I not surprised about that story?...

February 22, 2007 at 7:42 PM  

maybe because ur wise beyond ur years ?
you predict the unpredictable?
your imagination has taken u to worse places?
or i told u the story when it first happened :)


February 22, 2007 at 8:14 PM  

No don't be sweat "eshda3wa" I just was speaking my mind out =]
Shino hatha!! wikala mn '3air bawab!! Ay shay yedish belsayarah? Ashwa ennah ma sawa to your cousin shay.

February 22, 2007 at 8:33 PM  

Unfortunately, it can happen anywhere nowadays. People just don't want to get involved anymore.

February 22, 2007 at 9:27 PM  

Unfortunately, it can happen anywhere nowadays. People just don't want to get involved anymore.

February 22, 2007 at 9:28 PM  

omg i'm really sorry to her that, where have the men gone? 9ej mako '3eera oo 7ameya!
I'm glad she's safe though..

February 22, 2007 at 9:49 PM  

OMG poor woman! I never ever EVER go out alone at night, even to the nearest pharmacy, avoiding to be in such situations, fee ashkal ktheera like the ones in her story.,
And about the guards & the men at Costa, yeah, real men no longer exist =)

February 22, 2007 at 11:08 PM  

no wonder i like u ..
ur phoophs sis!!
sooo then theres more of u out there :p
anyways im so sorry for what happened to ur friend! this is REALLY embaressing
but i totally can understand, i mean, i actually cant understand but i belive such thing would happen in kuwait.
specialy after going through something similar:
some of our men are just .. not worthy of their gender i guess!

February 23, 2007 at 1:23 AM  

yes el7mdela allah setar!

true, its sad and very disappointing

ms loala
its frustrating isnt it!
bs el7mdela shes over it now

its good that ur careful and we should all follow ur example.
i still have my fingers crossed that a few real men still exsist somewhere

i just read ur post!! talk about FREAKY!!! Damn! i dont know weather to be shocked or laugh!

February 23, 2007 at 2:18 AM  

that's what you get for trying to throw shawarma litter in the street and polluting our environment! (so0o0o0o JK!!)

that's really a shameful act (or un-act shall i say) of our ghetra-wearing community... 3aib walla!! :/

February 23, 2007 at 7:11 AM  

oh my god, 7ram.
this does not happen in q8 only but in all of the 5aleej. t5yally fe al compound that we live in the security just drive in their cars they dont help out the girls that are being annoyed by boys :(

February 23, 2007 at 11:58 AM  

One interesting story happend to Man in USSR.

He protected a woman with a kid, I don't remember if he killed that guy who tried to kill that woman or not...

Result was one - he had to go to a prison.

This thing went out & a lot of people tried to help this man. But USSR government did not care of it.

One journalist asked that man - Now you have your expierence. How would you act in that situatuon?
Man answerd - I would not help. & I will never help anyone again.

So, dear, it's life.

February 23, 2007 at 1:59 PM  

Offf! Didn't expect the end to be like this! How rude?!

Well i guess she should or write what happened in the newpaper mentioning everything specially the part about the police station and try to catch that stupid drunk man who followed her for hours!

February 23, 2007 at 4:44 PM  

it is sameful! 3aib 3alaihum walah!

i dont know why they hire these security dudes if there nt gna provide any security!!

that is such a sad story! a man trying to help andhaving his life destroyed :(

rude dosent even begin to describe it! and everyone knows our police force is a disgrace to this country, but i doubt thats gna change anytime soon

February 23, 2007 at 5:04 PM  


Yeah I remember this one James Bond flick. Bond is in some kind of something happening on a mountain on the coast of the Mediterranean. He has a parachute on. Somehow he jumps or gets pushed off the mountain, so he opens his chute.

Down below there's this chick in a yacht talking on the phone to her girlfriend. She's complaining that there are no real men. She says "Oh God send me a real man!" and just then Bond lands on her yacht.


Yeah, that's rough, though. Stuff like that seems to happen everywhere.

I'm new to blogging, I want to explore a little and learn somethin and see something new, and this is one of my first stops in the blogosphere, and the story is the same crap as what I read in the newspapers in the US.

But good post, though. From one desert to another: You're linked!

February 24, 2007 at 3:32 AM  

I'm extremely ashamed!!!
Poor young lady =/

February 25, 2007 at 1:15 AM  

Knowing the area it is a relatively crowded area , and to think that no one did anything .. not even shout from their chair while sipping on their cappucino's make me pissed ... This kind of behaviour is what makes others think badly about arabs ... and to think tha the arab people take pride in the fact that they are a proud people and in theory wouldn't let something like this happen to anyone.

February 25, 2007 at 6:20 PM  

Diamond Ray
welcome to my blog

i know! me 2

exactly! amen brother!

February 26, 2007 at 2:12 AM  

a lesson to be learnt about littering, i guess. ;)

but seriously speaking, this phenomenon is not uncommon around the world. when someone is being attacked, is injured or generally needs help desperately and is in the company of lots of people, people tend to subconsciously assume that someone else will go forward to help.

i think the common excuse is "personal safety".

btw, cool blog!! :)

February 26, 2007 at 5:47 PM  

i couldnt agree more
and thank u!
welcome to my blog

February 26, 2007 at 7:10 PM  

Shameful. One can only hope that if confronted with such a situation, one would react differently. Fine chocolates btw. Thanks for your comment on booj.blogspot

February 28, 2007 at 6:27 PM  

First of all she shouldn't be littering ;)

But i'm not surprised at what happened to her, Kuwaiti men have gotten out of hand and they have gotten so much bolder in their "ti7irish", and police in Kuwait, I think they're a complete joke! It's so sad that a country has no rules, no regulations nothing to deal with issues like this! Especially since Kuwaiti's keep on talking about being an Islamic country and all that, but where is the respect for women??

March 1, 2007 at 10:16 AM  

FYI.. that story is very old it was posted in a magazine artice.. law mane ghal6an it was a magazine from AUK i think ! but definately i read it in a magazine like last year

March 3, 2007 at 12:25 AM  

another note .. the security guys el hnoos and masarwa ekhafoon men el kuwaityeen !! cuz bel nehaya lema tosal el makhfar the security will get beat up by our corrupt police for them being non-kuwaitys !! its is BULL SHIT I KNOW

March 3, 2007 at 12:26 AM  

it is shameful, glad u liked the chocolates
and ur very welcome :)

respect for woman ma3doon in this country, actually respect for anyone or anything dosent exsist, it is a big problem and should be comfronted

dont know if the woman ever put her story down somewhere, but i heard it straight from her mouth
police force is a joke, and its time they straighten up, but who do we go to for that?
cheerz :)

March 3, 2007 at 12:39 AM  

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