eshda3wa

March 8, 2007

Society vs YOU



My girlfriends and i were getting dressed to go out to dinner, Two of them had an interesting argument..


S: r u going out like that? (eyeing her tiny dress)


L: yes its cute isn't it


S: its gorgeous, but don't you think its too revealing?


L: ya it is, but i thought what the hell


S: i mean if we were going to a girls party then fine, but out in public


L: (getting offended) why do u care anyway, I'm wearing it not you!


S: I know and its pretty and all, but come on why attract all those unwanted dirty looks from people, and annoying calls from guys?


L: Dirty looks? are you saying i look dirty?


S: No that's not what I'm saying exactly, its just, come on we live in a society that has certain rules, don't you think we should respect them? Laish etyeebeen el7ache 7ag nafsech


L: God people make a big deal out of everything!


S: yes they do, so why give them a chance to gossip about you?


" ekel methel ma ya3jebik, welbes mithil ma ya3jeb elnass"


do you agree?
posted by eshda3wa at 1:05 PM

59 Comments:

no :P

March 8, 2007 at 3:14 PM  

i know its the way things works in q8.. our society sucks hehe
but i dont care what people say or do.. i do what i want to do

March 8, 2007 at 3:39 PM  

انا وحده ما يعجبني شي, شنو بتلبسين علشان ترضيني؟

March 8, 2007 at 3:45 PM  

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Dependssss ;P

March 8, 2007 at 3:58 PM  

i agree up to a certain point. laish ilwa7ed yifta7 3ala nafsa baab ohwa b'3ina 3anah. then again like papillona said ilnas ma ya3jibhom il3ajab. moderation is key :)

March 8, 2007 at 4:28 PM  

I dont agree :)

not becuz i am a supporter of wearing "flashy" clothes (thats if its considered cloths)

But becuz the fashion trend in Kuwait is too much for my likes..all the beads and different colors on ONE piece of cloth.


and ppl are going crazy trying to keep up with the trend...and wearing stuff that looks absulotely rideculous on them....just becuz it the trend or the "staayaal" as they say it lol

Just wear what looks good on you...wear what you like, not what some fashion designer decieded for you to wear :D

and of course it has to not reaveling.....all those girls wearing next to nothing.....SHAME ON YOU....

March 8, 2007 at 4:33 PM  

For me it might boil down to which would cause me the most grief...wearing what I want and getting hassled for it...or not wearing the clothes that I want to wear and suffering
the personal irritation and annoyance that I can't ...

On the other hand, I also believe that we should respect the customs and culture of the place where we live unless there is discrimination. Then I would work for change. Otherwise, I would choose to live in a place where my personal preferences were accommodated.

March 8, 2007 at 4:36 PM  

hmmm.... a picture of the dress would help. ;p

seriously speaking, i think a person should dress how he or she likes to dress. wear what makes you happy.

however, if someone decides to dress skimpily in a society that is generally conservative, it is still the person's call. but she must be prepared to face criticism from others.

on the other hand, if dressing skimpily is against religious teachings or will offend people where she lives, then she has no choice... you know... when in rome...

in the end, the old adage "you reap what you sow" is quite accurate.

March 8, 2007 at 4:56 PM  

i think society plays a major role. e.g. here we have to wear 3abyah and it should not show much. i believe when you want to go in public you should wear something that does not show much coz of "the dirty looks"

March 8, 2007 at 4:58 PM  

ana m3a el e5t "S" :p .. cuz 9ij laish etyeb el 7achi 7ag nafs'ha ?? ya3ni ok hal dress 5alih for parties oo yam3at bnat oo mn hal 6agga .. bs public .. it's yeah u must respect da ppl b3d! ..

March 8, 2007 at 5:03 PM  

yes i agree.. and i use that expression all the time :)

March 8, 2007 at 5:13 PM  

Show us the pic and then we can judge :P

March 8, 2007 at 6:20 PM  

yaaaaaaaaaaa5y bs bla wj3 ras o glg
whatever u wear ma ra7 y3jbhom even lao kan shy satr o 7elo ye6l3o mn 3eb
so just do what u want o a6ga3 ma teshofy alnas
bs 3ad kman ma nebal'3 :P

March 8, 2007 at 8:35 PM  

as much as i hate it, i do agree.. why give ppl a chance to gossip about me? esp. since we're girls, as much as you say "mala shiqill.. il bint nafs il i9bay", we aren't.. we have a harder time then guys.. guys fools around, "3adi he's a guy.." a girl fools around "omg.. she's such a slut"..

March 8, 2007 at 9:34 PM  

i'd have to agree with Peony, i've never heard anybody call a guy a "slut" even though "man whore" can be applied lol

but at the same time, if that was my friend, i'd say "comprimise"...
if it's a super short dress, why not wear pants under it (if that's the style going on).. ya3ni try in a way not to attract so much un-needed attention because it's not worth it, the idiot boys ili mo shayfeen khair ege6oon hurtful/stupid/cliché comments and women ma e9adgoon 3ala Allah elagon wa7da yetkalemoon 3anha..

March 8, 2007 at 11:03 PM  

Since I know she will be guilty & she will be punished if something happen to her, then yes, better for her to cover some.

I don't speak about people's opinion now, no. I'm talking about real danger.

There is nothing worse than to take care of the people who don't care of you at all.

March 9, 2007 at 2:09 AM  

well it depends. I try to repect our stupid traditions as much as possible, but people see things differently. I was wearing a super cute dress yesterday, and I did not find it revealing at all. Yet my friend thought it was a bit revealing (It was jussst above the knee). It depends on the person, I guess.

March 9, 2007 at 3:23 AM  

Totally agree with that! but forget about "the society", aren't they worried and scared of Allah!!!!!!!

and am just wondering, what's the purpose of over-revealing clothes? to look cute?? are you kidding me? is all about attracting people- and when this happen, yestshrfoon. and i swear to god that those girls know that this(the idea of attracting others) is gonna happen, but they do it!!! oo eg9oon 3ala nfshoom gabel la y6l3oon eygoolen la ana ga3d labsa mfa9a5 bcuz it looks better on me! stupid retarded thinking! (shfeeny m3a9eb :P)

another thing, etha hal banat m6al3een kel shay fe jesmhoom? sh5laity 7g your husband???? ana oo raylech nafs elshay! ellee yeshofah raylech bel bayat broo7kom ana ashofa bel shar3!

Ma agool ela allah elhady!
oo 3ajel frajak....

March 9, 2007 at 5:54 AM  

i've never been one to exactly follow the rules of society bes ya3ni if u wana break those rules you better be prepared for the consequences...

March 9, 2007 at 8:44 AM  

ummm i agree to a certain point too..

y3nee ppl TALK a lot.. o may7taay el wa7da etyeeb el 7chy 7g nfs'ha .. u knw? :)

yet, everyone has the right to wear whatever they wanna wear.. and if they're comfortable in whatever they're wearing then fine. :D

March 9, 2007 at 12:47 PM  

Whats wrong with wearing what you want, and whats wrong if its revealing a bit... as long as one charecter is clean what does it matter if some dogs drool or some beards catch fire!

March 9, 2007 at 1:15 PM  

I don't agree AT ALL !!! i wear what I wana wear, do what I wana do, it's MY own life after all, isn't it ?! i might as well live it the way i want to, wala what do you think ?!

Etha ibnisma3 kalam iLnass Mara7 in5aLi9, kel wa7id 3inda rayi 3'air.. Etha ana mi8tan3a ib what am doing then that's enough ;)

March 9, 2007 at 2:39 PM  

I agree that you should indeed respect the society you live in. Even if the acts you are doing are totally fine, if no one else in your society is doing it, you would attract unnecessary attention and possible negative criticism.

The clothes part is not only a society thing, but also a religious thing. Which is double the trouble.

Having said that, next time you go out with the girlfriend (L), let me know so I can see the dress and so judge for myself ;)

March 9, 2007 at 4:28 PM  

1. Why don't I ever get invited to these excursions?
2. Tell your friend to have mercy on our neck muscles. If she wants guys to look at her she can wear an onion sack with arm and leg holes and guys would still stare at her ass.
3. She should respect the religious, cultural, and societal boundaries of the environment she's in. Rule of thumb: If both men and women stare at her and give her looks that would induce a miscarriage if she was pregnant, her dress is too revealing. Won't be hard to find out where that boundary lies.
4. As an expert in this field having written several definitive papers on the impact of fashion on society and culture, I would like to offer my services as a skimpy dress analyst free of charge :D LOOOL

March 9, 2007 at 5:30 PM  

Yes, I do agree., not always tho, I mean el 3aib 3aib, but fe ashya2 3adiya people still gossip about it, in this case dont give a damn., otherwise, respect the society you're in =)

March 9, 2007 at 8:00 PM  

kitt
;P

zalabya
sure u do what u want, but dont u think it should be within the society's borders?

BaBi
baby 4 u ide go naked!

fayoor
on what?

extinct dodo
yes exactly MODERATION

ghasheema
its not 3an ur sense of style, more about sensibility, u cant exactly wear mini skirts oo tube tops n say kaify i dont care about society. THATS what im against

mise
u made alot of sense, and respect is the key word here

the premster
again u make pretty good points
our society is pretty judgemental on everything
pick ur battles i say

gloomy
the dirty looks are a problem, although ppl should just mind their own bussiness, they dont, so u have to deside if they are worth the agony ur putting urself thru

sozu
im glad u agree

mishmisha
good, i personally think everyone should apply it and respect their limits.

zizo
aha, ee inshallah soon ;)

BiBoOoo
ya5y inty eshfeech ya5y!
loool, sa7 elmafrooth manbaligh!

peony
i hate that about our society, the way they dont hold guys accountable for anything they do!!

swair
totally agree with u
maybe we should start the guys are sluts thing lol

sever
there is no real danger, she could go out whichever way she pleases and no one can do anything about it, the question is ready to be critisized?

enigma
true, it does come down to ur personal judgement

March 9, 2007 at 8:58 PM  

blekh people, they suck, when will they grow up! limits can be different from one to another, so screw them am wearing what I know suites me best, wely mo3ajba beltagag, wa shukran

March 9, 2007 at 9:06 PM  

hussain
<-- starts to sing
ya 7sain ana 3aine seheera mateshoof elmanam, amshee wadawer khaimitik ya 7sain bain alkheyam
chakchakchakchak!

7attan law the person was not muslim, they still should respect the society they are in!
glad u agree:)

do0da
sa7 ... face the consequences, and in a society that thrives on gossip and never forgets, u have a long way to go

missy
no one is gna stop em, but they have to be ready to face what comes their way

happy wolf
it dosent matter, but the issue here is to respect ur boundaries, no one is gna stop u, but why put urself in a postion where ur overly scrutinized?

glam
wala i agree with u to a certain extent, u cant walk down the streets of kuwait in ur bra wetgoleen kaify.. u still gotta think about the ppl around u

Hitman1
yes i will call u next time im out, ur input is nessesary ;)

3zayez
1-next time u will be
2-we'll try the onion sacl the day we invite u to go out
3-totally agree with u
4-THANK U 4 the free of charge offer, ill be sure u inspect all our skimpy dresses

pinkish
sa7 ppl sometimes exaggerate, but u must still have boundaries ;)

March 9, 2007 at 9:11 PM  

sponty
3afwan, magdar i disagree since ur my much much MUCH older cousin
mmwa7 ;*

March 9, 2007 at 9:13 PM  

yes .. i do agree:P

March 9, 2007 at 10:36 PM  

hmm the big dilemma that plagues every kuwaiti girl :P the problem is that everyone has their own definition of 'revealing'.. but in general i DONT agree with that saying! I actually dispise that saying! I believe wear whatever you want as long as you respect yourself :D I just avoid questionable clothing in kuwait not because i care about people's opinions, but i just dont want to deal with the guys. Cuz if i did i'd probably be executed on charges of first degree murder :P

March 10, 2007 at 2:28 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

March 10, 2007 at 3:32 AM  

well i guess S got a point, even if its not in an arab or muslim society its still the same, there are some things that doesn't depend on a certain society... somethings are just lame and as they say:
"إن لم تستحي ففعل ماتشتهي"
(no offence)

it's not that in all foreign countries people wear half naked clothes... they just don't

March 10, 2007 at 3:38 AM  

wlaaa so2al 7eloo

shy zain enk etkoon 3ala ra7tk oo etsawee kel shy fee balk BS still we are in kwt mategdar etsawee kel elly tabeah 3ashan al3adaat wel tagalead oo almoshkelaa enaa mojtam3 e93'eer oo alkalaam may6oolk entaa bs laa ra7 ey6ool 3aylaa kamlaa faa laish etsawee shy oo b3dain tet7asaf 3alih anaa ashofhaa mateswaa saw kel shy ma3gool laa et9ek 3ala 3omrk wlaa tefta7ha maraa wa7daa (kel shy bel 3agel 7eloo ) ;)

March 10, 2007 at 4:29 AM  

people are getting out of the subject here, we're not saying tefasekhaw o emshaw bel share3, we're saying we wear what WE LIKE which shows the respect we have for ourselves but NOT for others, 3an el tefelsef el zayed =P

much much older eb3anich ={ hayyen wait till you come back

March 10, 2007 at 12:57 PM  

i agree to a certain extent. like dodo said, moderation is key.

March 10, 2007 at 6:22 PM  

a7b asweee elle ana m8tn3a feeeh .. male sh`3l belnas

March 10, 2007 at 7:39 PM  

good post, i do sometimes dress a bit differently when i'm abroad, so i guess i agree with it to a certain extent. i just don't like headaches and stares

March 10, 2007 at 10:58 PM  

well ofcourse it has to be within our PRETTY society borders.. but i know that what im doing isnt wrong.. so i do it + i know im not breaking any stupid rule ;)

March 11, 2007 at 12:59 AM  

whats the big deal, go to europe in the summer n go topless, see if anybody cares, oh wait, europe in the summer matroosa 3arab too, what to do what to do??

March 11, 2007 at 2:29 AM  

ekel methel ma ya3jebik, welbes mithil ma ya3jeb elnass"



حكمة كبيرة و عظيمة

March 11, 2007 at 1:37 PM  

san3a_wa_lakin
good :)

red blooded woman
loool ya and ide be ur partner in crime! so anoying!

out law
sa7 ur rite, it all comes down as a matter of respect for ur surrowndings

cosimfree911
yes moderation is the key

sponty onty
khalte sponty (e7teramn lilage diff) what i would like to do is walk around in my panties, but aint gna happen, i have wonderwoman panties, makes me feel so POWERFUL

dandoon
then we agree ;)

red lady
its good to be satisfied with what ur doing but u cant deny ina fee guidelines

joud
u can join me n red blooded woman in our murder spree

zalabya
if ur nt breaking any rules then ur avoiding alot of headaches, good 4 u :)

bored
find a place with no arabs, go to afrika, put on a beaded skirt, everyone is topless there... fee options ya3ne

neo
glad u like it :)

March 11, 2007 at 4:14 PM  

I guess no matter what you do, youre always constrained to what your society percepts.. loool ana tafkeeri nafs tafkeerich, I don't give a damn, lakin I wouldn't want people taking about me and getting that 7achy to my family, a7is mo 7ilwa fee 7aghom, even if they didn't mind at all, a negative response about you will still trigger a small emotion... In such situations we have to put them, our religion and society first.. :)

great post :P

March 11, 2007 at 9:49 PM  

G
so glad u agree, alot of ppl find it hard to put society and religion before their own desires, but i think in the end it does help u avoid alot of unnessary stuff :)

March 12, 2007 at 2:18 PM  

Well the thing is some women DO dress too revealing on purpose. Personally I go for the both eating and dressing for yourself, but that doesn't mean I eat like a savage and dress, um, nude.

March 12, 2007 at 6:03 PM  

KJ
borders.. limits.. boundaries
bend and break what u like if ur willing to face the consequences

March 12, 2007 at 6:15 PM  

NO I DONT AGREEEEEEEEEEEEE AT ALL...those who dont like what others wear should lower their gaze and shut up!

its our lives not thiers & wutever we do, ppl wont get satisfied!

Cheers!

March 12, 2007 at 6:18 PM  

I don't know.. I always support standing for what YOU believe in, and not caring about other peoples judgments.. But in this case people will annoy her, she wont have fun. If it were at a place where it's fine to look that way, then so be it.. But in our society, it's like you're showing off meat to a hungry lion! Never good!!

March 12, 2007 at 7:25 PM  

I believe that one should wear what one likes and is comfortable in. AS for people, whatever you wear or do, they find one or the other reason to comment...So why bother abt others??

March 13, 2007 at 1:09 PM  

Arablady
first welcome sweetheart
been a while!
and why did u take out the comments on ur blog ;(
second: i dont think its about satisying individual ppl, and ur rite, they should lower their gaze, but they dont! but it does come down to what u want


fo0f
nope its never good, and sure standing up for what u believe in when ita a cause.. i think ppl can live without revealing too much skin no?

sene
totally agree about not bothering about others, but also i believe one must respect the society they r in

March 13, 2007 at 1:33 PM  

No I honestly don't!

If people have a problem with whatever it is they have a problem with then it's absolutely their problem, you know?! :P

As long as my actions/appearances whatever it is are not causing me to feel uncomfortable then to hell with everyone else. It's my life, why should I live as per the standards of other people!?!?

*demands answer*

March 13, 2007 at 2:50 PM  

kinan
<---- hides behind a wall

umm kinan , ur rite man, im too afraid to disagree...


lol
ur rite to a certain extent, sure be comfertable do what u want, and no one is gna stop u, but a little respect to ur surrowndings cant hurt no?

March 14, 2007 at 1:54 PM  

respect th.... *realizing he's gotten a bit carried away, drops the macho act* :p

Of course you have to respect your community and/or the environment you're living in. However, when things start to get irrational, illogical and unrealistic you should have the ability to question them and know where to separate yourself from your surroundings. Otherwise, well you'll be just like a herded sheep! (sorry for the analogy)

Does that make sense?!

March 14, 2007 at 7:04 PM  

well by turning it off i just avoided a world war III!

March 14, 2007 at 8:08 PM  

kinan
yes makes total sense n i agree :)

Arab lady
havent u heard? wars are totally in these days!

March 14, 2007 at 11:10 PM  

You will NEVER make everyone happy with the way you dress, there will always be people who think what you wear is too revealing/ too western, or on the other extreme when you cover up, they'll say these people are oppressed and they wont/cant show anything...so just be happy with what you wear, so that if YOU were looking at yourself from far..you wont think anything negative..thats my 2 cents ;)

March 16, 2007 at 11:04 AM  

Mohammed
SweeeeeetYyy!! so good to see u!!
u have been missed!
im keeping ur two cents in my diary, and one day im gna show it my grandchildren, telling em kids these two cents were from your great uncle 7amood ;**

March 16, 2007 at 11:47 AM  

everyone seems to be forgettin one important thing here.. .

it is individuals who make society.. n not the other way around (i.e. man makes society, society doesnt make the man)...

today what is considered unacceptable - IN A PARTICULAR SOCIETY, could very easily be changed. get 10 or 20 or 100 people who think the way u do, n there, u have ur own society.. nothin to worry abt now. right?

the thing is.. do what u want, atleast u get to live ur life ur way.

March 19, 2007 at 7:05 PM  

Lord Raj
thats a different way to look at it
and ur so rite!

March 19, 2007 at 10:26 PM  

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