March 27, 2007
Patience with my patients
U have already met her
Me: (examining her mouth)
When was the last time u brushed ur teeth?
Patient: ummmm well…
** after a while u learn the signs of trouble, when u ask someone when they brushed their teeth and the answer isn’t this morning, u have a long day ahead
Patient: to tell u the truth Dr, I have never brushed
Patient: never, and I have been smoking since I was 12
(starts picking tuna)
Patient #2: Deceiving smile
*I walk into the clink, pick a case file, peek at the dental history, one filling in 10 years!
Yeah baby! A clean one! Easy job
Me: Hello ma'am, I'm just going to take down your medical history before I start work
Me : Do u suffer from any diseases, Diabetes, High blood pressure..
Patient: I have HIV & AIDS
*Why me God why! *smile at patient
Me:Just a Minuit ma'am (I don’t know if I should be dealing with this)
*I look for the supervisor
Me: Dr, my patient has HIV and AIDS, I never worked with an AIDS patient and I'm nervous
Supervisor: just change ur gloves get the surgical ones
Me: that’s it?
Supervisor: Dr eshda3wa please don’t keep your patient waiting
The woman was really nice, she kept telling me to be careful, be careful.
Khatamt elquraan wana I was working!
Patient # 3: Masturbating maniac
Me: (working on the patient)
Maniac: DR ur beautiful
Me: sir please don’t talk while I work or I mite hurt you
Maniac: Dr u have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen
Me: (I try not to puncture his tongue!)
*strange movement, I look up and the maniac has his fly open masturbating!!!
( scream, run away, and call security)
Patient # 4: Biting Beast
I don’t work with kids yet, but to avoid work in my own clinic I always go play with the kids, my friend calls me
Friend: eshda3wa ur good with kids, come help me, hes crying and wont let me work
*I go to the kid, calm him down, blow up a glove into a balloon, soon were playing thumbs war
Me: will u let the nice Dr look into ur mouth?
Beast: no I want you
Me: OK ill do it
* I put one finger into his mouth and
The beast bites my finger!
Me: aAaAaaAaaaH let go let GOO!!
Patient # 5 : a$$
a$$: Dr. your working on the wrong tooth
Me: excuse me?
a$$: that's not the one that hurts me, its the one after it
Me: the one I'm working on has caries
a$$: But the one behind it bleeds when i brush
Me: but the one I'm working on is the one that needs fixing
*shows him the x-ray
Patient: you obviously don't know what your doing, this tooth doesn't hurt me!
Me: there is nothing wrong with the tooth after it
Patient: I demand a second opinion
(second opinion? is he serious? its a damn superficial caries, its a joke, not a damn surgery!)
And I have a lot more where that came from!
The guy who thought I was too short
The guy who tried to sell me weed
The woman who started breast feeding
The guy who spat at me
The guy who fell in love with me
But ill leave those for another post