eshda3wa

July 6, 2007

Proper Post






When did your early 20's become too old?

A conversation i just had with my mom:-

Mama: Tadreen flana enkha6bat (got engaged)

Me: oh my god laish shes so young!

Mama: shino too young shes 20!

Me: thats young! is she happy?

Mama: over the moon, elzawaj 3agel moo 3omor! wentay kel ma tkbreen tedbreen

me: mabrook i guess

Mama: Some people asked about you

me: tes2al 3anhum el3afya, mino?

Mama: not asked about your well being, asked if you were available for marriage

Me: shino sayara ana sayara 3ashan akoon available! NO this shop is closed!

Mama: you think your still young! your 22 years old! now is the age for marriage, now a7san nass eyoonich! once you turn 27 or 28 eyeeech wa7ed divorced! is that what you want!

Me: Mama we've had this conversation before, I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!

Mama: bala sakhafaa! stop acting like you have forever cause the train is passing you by!

Me: I'm 22 not 40, and I'm not getting married that way

MaMa: fee a7ad eb 7ayatich?!! e3tarfay !

me: what is this an interrogation!

MaMa: tell me!

me: NO!!

Mama: you have to give yourself a chance

Me: when the time is right i will

mama: NOW is the time, kela min hal medaris ele dakhaltkom feeha

Me: medarisna shako?!

Mama: they teach you these things! this is our culture and this is how people get married! get with the programme!

Me: I'm not getting with anything, you know how i feel about this!

mama: ana madre intay shloon rtfakreen

Me: wana madre why u want me to get married


My mom and I have these conversations every once in a while

22 is NOT TOO OLD

and screw the god dammed invisible train! ILL find my own ride thank you very much!!
*********************
Today is the milcha of this girl i know, she is 15 years old, her husband to be is 19.
How can this be legal?
And both sets of parents should be sent to a mental institute!!
posted by eshda3wa at 9:30 AM

61 Comments:

lol @ i'll find my own ride!!
enzain... I'm not here to comment on ur post.. I'm worried about that mental image of el hindi .. it's not fair :S

eheh... hope everything is going well dear.. la tga63een :)

July 6, 2007 at 9:55 AM  

How did your mom say "get with the programme" ;p?

July 6, 2007 at 10:21 AM  

omg allah iy3eenich! 7ad il deja vu, i have this conversation with my mom and other female members of my family and they always get so angry and blame it on dad sending us to english schools!! shino ya3niiiiiii, and mafe train hun, and even if kan fe train then its a wobbely rickety, rusty , nasty train, attractive?? i thnk not!!

July 6, 2007 at 10:22 AM  

15 & 19?? :O omg yahaaal! laa laa that's way too young!

July 6, 2007 at 10:26 AM  

15 and 19 @___@

awal shay that makes me look so good =D

thani shay...its the norm now to get married around 24-26....especially in kuwait...every wedding I hear about the bride is in that category.

ow entay lesh chethie makhtha fekra wayeeed say2a 3an alzawaj...get to know the person and inshallah it will all be good

wallah teh problem nowadays is that couples want it either its all happy and giggly ALL the time...or its the biggest mistake they ever made!!!

Fights and arguments are VERY normal...if there wasnt any querrels then the marriage would be fake...and such a marriage makes the couple try be on their best behaviour all the times or else the other person might think they are dumb or immature or whatever!!

marriage needs work...and it needs maintenance from time to time and REPAIRS here and there....just like everything else in this life...its never PERFECT


after this lovely lecture =D

I'm guessing ur title has a lil sarcasm and I love it ;)

July 6, 2007 at 10:36 AM  

oh don't feel bad about it. We guys have that conversation too, but we don't face the pressure that you girls have.

My father gave me a deadline of 4 years to go find my girl. Otherwise, I am marrying the traditional way. :S

July 6, 2007 at 11:26 AM  

hahaha.. nice lovely conversation between a parent and a not-so-old daughter ;)

ur still young.. but this is how mothers think.. they want the best for their kidos.. and u shouldn't blame them..

i am much older than u r.. and me still single.. and to make u feel good/better.. i always say NO for ages less than 25 when my family present someone for me.. maybe it is a mental thing.. i dunno

i know for a FACT that there are real ladies who have 20 years in age.. and still some wacko kids with ages in the 40's... (to make all feel better men and women)

but i am talking about the majority of the averages..

well.. wish u the best with mama.. she is mama.. and u have to be her cool kid ;)

July 6, 2007 at 11:35 AM  

ambeeh 15 and 19.they are kids :s

shloon by3eshon 7yaat-hm :s

**
and bout the marriage ur still young...some ppl get married when they are 30 and they are happy

it's not about the age..it's about ppl :s

**

eeh ambeeh tthkrt shy

mrh ma friend told me about some ppl she knows
tgol enhm yzwjon 3yalhm bmjrd maybl'3on y3ne 12 oo 16 and i swear that this thing is true :s

July 6, 2007 at 11:53 AM  

15 oo 19? sh9ayer?! :)

tezawejai eshda3wa sem3ay kalam omech ;P

July 6, 2007 at 11:58 AM  

Now THAT is too young.. 15 and 19. The girl is barely into high school she didnt have a proper experience of life yet :/ ok en6awefha for the girl bs the guy? how is he going to support her at that age? unless his family is supporting them... Allah y3eenhom o ywafeghom

July 6, 2007 at 12:12 PM  

you're still young !!! defiantly not too old !
a9lan i think that marriage under the age of 25 is birbis.. yahaal !
although some ppl are ready to get married young..
15?! 19 ?! shino, ishnaween 3alaihum ?! 7araaam !! i mean they're not even legal for crying out loud !!!

July 6, 2007 at 12:22 PM  

Here's what I think. When you say 15 and 19 is too young, you give them the right to say that 22 is too old. If you look at them that way, then don't be surprised if they look at you the way they do!..

Your Mom is concerned because we live in a society where these are norms, i.e. social standards. You do have the right to disagree since most historical norms are based on historical events. Change does not come by following norms.

However, if you feel that you're not ready, then you're not. When you're ready you'll know it, and you'll feel it. Allah ewafjech enshalla, don't worry about it too much. Kel ensan o rezga mawjod. ;) Pardon the long comment :p

July 6, 2007 at 12:52 PM  

The store is closed with a lock..I don't want anybody taking my sister away!

(wide eyes) 15???? thats my age!WAI3!!!

July 6, 2007 at 2:39 PM  

15 3ad? o.O She's still a kid! ew :S

Hmm.. A lot of people blame it on our schools actually. I'm 24 and still don't want to get married the traditional way.

July 6, 2007 at 4:43 PM  

What's wrong with divorced men?

My whole family gave up on me! They don't bring it up anymore, now all they do is ask, someone asked about u, do u want to see the guy, I say no and it's over :)

July 6, 2007 at 7:01 PM  

i feel your pain even though i'm a guy i get my daily dose of this BS. and yeah i do mean daily >.>
and now that i'm turning 27 their getting a bit more desperate it seems >.> they even went as far as questioning my manhood XD but in the end i still hold my grounds.
i do have my beliefs and no one is gona change that

July 6, 2007 at 7:07 PM  

@@ !! 15 !!

oo lol my mom keeps talkin about me getting married every now n then bes il7imdila so far its all been talk about WHEN i get married not yala get married :P

i guess mo bagi wakt o tabdi it7in 3alay :P

July 6, 2007 at 7:57 PM  

ee wallah :( ana b3ad btzawaj :P mo bagy shy kelaha 5 years :P

July 6, 2007 at 8:01 PM  

lol i guess every girl has to go through this conversation with her mom!

oo akrah shay laima u dont wanna get married the traditional way oo u keep arguing about it..oo ur mom/or whoever ur having the conversation with keeps finger pointing that u have someone in mind!

oo b3d 3ogb sa3a.. eyoon egolon lich if u even think about being in a relationship with someone lazim he is blah blah blah,,, has blah blah blah....etc! u know hal sowalif y3nee!

oo b3deeen lama tabred el salfa.. everything goes on all over again!

July 6, 2007 at 9:20 PM  

7asoon
shasawe 7asoon blame it on ghasheema!
wela ana i thought u probably look like a hot italian dude, bs ehya kharibat elimage

purgatory
she said : get with the brogramme

princess
its definitly NOT attractive
and as long as im cruising by in my own ride they can talk all they want!

dandoon
tell me about it, its CRAZY

Ghasheema
7ayate om 7amooood :**
ana moo makhtha fekra say2a 3n elzawj, im just appose marriage as a principle, ina ur not complete without it, and tht is NOT the case
if it happenes then itll happen on my own time and way.

Hamza
atleast u have four years
im already out of time
but iam a fighter
and i ALWAYS get my way

simper
yeah i knew this was comming, oo allah y3een after i graduate
i have 8 aunts allah ykhaleehum ley inshallah, and they all want to see me married :)

free_moi
moo bs young, it should be illegal ba3ad!

Rekoo
yallah tetzawajne?

yara
his family are going to support them financially
but who will support them emotionally and psycologically
how many 15yr olds do u know are responsible enough to be married, and that is not even considering the chance she mite get pregnant.

July 6, 2007 at 10:09 PM  

peony
thank u!
madre wats the deal with early marriages!
u have the rest of ur life to be married!
oo hathail allah y3eenhum hal yahaloo!

n.
they can call me ancient if they want
15 is TOO YOUNG
its too young for anything
its too young to drive
too young too open ur own bank account
too young to sign legal and medical bills
and its definitly too young to be married!
i know my mom loves me n is only doing wat she believes is best for me

phoenixo
big sista aint goin nowhere babe

enigma
i dont think our schools have anything to do with it
ya3ne marriage was never a subject cz were way too young to even think about it in highschool!
and if it is beacuse of our schools then thank god!

elijah
divorced = used
and thats bad
i cant wait for my family to give up on me too

nomad
good for u for holding ur ground
questioning ur manhood!
man they really want u to get hitched!

do0da
i dont think its as bad for guys as it is for girls in our society
when ur mom starts 7ening tell me how it goes :)

outlaw
lol
yallah ma bga shay

missy
i love the whole r u in a relationship theory
if u dont want to get married akeed fee someone, ya salaaam!

July 6, 2007 at 10:23 PM  

see all moms were givenb an insruction tape/disc when they got married.. its abt raisin their grls.. ow they think everything in that tape is so true.. ok it is.. but wuts missing ina WE HAVE AN EDUCATION!.. wer carrer women.. not all teachs ow sitting behind desks!

15 and 19 @@ mu9eeebaaa!!!

July 6, 2007 at 11:14 PM  

What she's trying to become ? the youngest grand mother at 30? And she is over the moon already ? it must be the weather ! hot eh?

July 6, 2007 at 11:54 PM  

kafkheeeehom ;p manaby sbayan;p single lil'abad bi;ithn elah;p

July 6, 2007 at 11:55 PM  

Whenever someone convinces me I'm old and should get married already and are not convinced with I'm young, not ready and would like to start working and get settled there before I do, I tell them "our divorce rate is 60% most of which are by couples under the age of 25. It's not about the younger you get married oo it's certainly not a competition or a show or about the wedding - its about the marriage. Oo besides, unlike ilm6afeeg I don't need a man to define or complete me." that usually does the trick ;P

July 7, 2007 at 1:30 AM  

15 and 19?!! thats just sick!! mesakeeeeeen!! shfeehom il singles?! chinhom il ba5at! ya zeen il zain bess 3ala golat yaditi!:P

July 7, 2007 at 1:38 AM  

Lord ! that’s tooo young !! ambeeeh ay shy !!!!!! I can’t believe my own eyes .. I have no idea why are they doing this .. the boy is soo young and the girl is a BABY ! that’s just wrong .. they will end up in so many problems ..

About you & mom .. hunni this is a typical Kuwaiti mum thingy !! LOL , 22 or 23 :P is not old at all .. in fact it’s the first step in the real world .. you can’t just marry any guy that you know nothing about but his name or his family name , how is that possible .. if you were meant to get married you will sooner or later .. its our fate and destiny , doing whatsoever won’t change a thing .. whenever mom starts that broken record with me I go : blah blah blah inshalaaaaaaaaaa love you bye !! short way to end this conversion LOL :P

July 7, 2007 at 2:30 AM  

Its a subject which is brought around to a lot to my table these days and they wonder what I'm thinking. My simple answer is this "I'm married to work"

Sara7a it all depends on the circumstances but 19 and 15 is rediculous, some people can get married early but too early is just too much.

Sara7a the one thing is that people don't realize we have to do a few things and work now a days before getting married, to them its a phase they have to push you into, bes you can't blame the family they want to see you happy and they want to be happy with your kids, to some extent. Sara7a your conversation also made me laugh, whenever they bring up the conversation to me I start laughing too. hehehe

July 7, 2007 at 7:47 AM  

hmmm,interesting expression by a mom ;p

July 7, 2007 at 10:49 AM  

Oh!? I also know a couple that got married, the husband is 19 and the wife is 15 or 16, but they got married ilkhames ili 6af,so ethaher it is becoming a common thing in kuwait all of a suddun!! And it is illegal, that means ma esadgon 3aqd ilzwaj eb wezarat il3adil until the women reaches 18.

July 7, 2007 at 12:27 PM  

OMG thats a very young age, I have the same issue at my house, my dad keeps saying when I was your age I was married with 2 kids. How can wwe make them understand that time has changed??

July 7, 2007 at 12:39 PM  

heheheh 3ade 3dee mothers , thanks God my mom was not like that , but for me ana kil yoom a7med rabe ene ma tezawajt b4 25 thanks God so stick to your opinion no marrige till 25 plz and belive me pass tha train a7san mn get in it and you r not ready yet

July 7, 2007 at 1:10 PM  

Girl.... LIVE. Do what makes YOU happy. Your parents aren't going to be around forever. If you marry someone to please them - then YOU are the only person stuck with them! Plus - do you have any idea what the divorce statistics are in Kuwait? Its up there around 53%! The woman is going to be the one to suffer here from divorce. A guy can decide that he doesn't want the responsibility after a few years; like what happened to my friends' daughter. At 20, she married a guy who BEGGED her family to marry her. As soon as she was pregnant, he took off and said he could't handle it. I think you are wonderful for being so strong and intelligent.

Hamza - you are a man. Just say NO. Like it or not, your father will have go agree with you and eventually respect your decision. If he doesn't - tell HIM to marry someone your age and see what happens! :)

July 7, 2007 at 4:05 PM  

I am with you in the sense that you have to live your life without obsessing about things that are not in your control. But I am with 5alti in the sense that we shouldn’t say things like “mabi atezawaj”. Laish infawil 3ala 3omrna? Firthi marr malak? Plus the best way to stop a conversation like that is by saying “killa maktoob 3end Alla, yseer 5air inshalla.” OO bass! On a personal note, I would love it if you got married so there would be more little eshda3wa’s in Kuwait, I'm hoping for the increase of those kinds of people in the Kuwaiti population :D

July 7, 2007 at 4:40 PM  

OMG!!! u have no idea how angry i am!!!
awl shay hug o booosa :***
my mom learned her lesson when i fashalt'ha mra jdam her friends :D nyahahahah!
i am against marriage! not against love!

i totaly understand! kids r getting married now! shelsalfa.. wai3 wallah la3at chbdi :s

allah yster :*

July 8, 2007 at 1:36 AM  

e madry laish people have this weird idea inah bas t3adeen el 21 your officially old and if you're not married then you are officially 3anis!!!
i think people should not get married in their early 20s unless they find their other half! i think if you're not getting married for love then leave the traditional way till your late 20s or early 30s! why missing out all the fun in your 20s for someone you dont know?! ok the traditional way might work for some people bs what if that guy was de3lah o twahagtay feeh?!?!

July 8, 2007 at 1:52 AM  

I am 25 and my mom thinks am still young :p

July 8, 2007 at 11:02 AM  

afa 3alaych bacher ana 3nd bab betkom agrge3 :P

July 8, 2007 at 11:24 AM  

early marriage is a bore...my rule is that ur not old unless you look it :P

July 8, 2007 at 1:19 PM  

:Me: shino sayara ana sayara 3ashan akoon available! NO this shop is closed!"===========LooooL
Ee wullah Elbanat 9arow sayyarat, bas `3al6at meno, ha??

I think enna `3baaa2 men ahal elbint inhom yezawjonha bhal3omor, 7ram..wulla yahel, and ba3deen sheno the marrige gifts, bait barby o ma6ba5 plastic min ellshanakel toy store, wela 101 a7san???? Ayshy

Eshda3wa, 22 years old, enty 3yooooozaaaaaaaaaaaa, LooooL

July 8, 2007 at 8:18 PM  

There is nothing smart about the decision of marriage. And I think its totally normal & healthy for 15 and 19 to get married. There I said it!

July 8, 2007 at 9:59 PM  

15? 19? I think this is gonna be all about the sex and then they'll both remarry when they understand what love is.

It if absurd that society has "deadlines" for people to get married.

July 9, 2007 at 7:36 AM  

Eshda3waa... thakarteenee fe 3omri... Wallah 7aram... zawag age is over 26 for girls and over 32 for men...

Uhhh thekrayat kareehaa :(

July 9, 2007 at 2:40 PM  

lol...well, I've had this conversation ...or I should say I've listened to a retelling of this conversation ... as long as you stick to your guns and wait for a later train ...or even a gondola.... unfortunately, my dear previous conversant didn't!

July 10, 2007 at 2:27 AM  

All she wants is to see you happily married, I don't blame her.

I'd really want to see my kid's kids kids grow up and get married before I die lol. That's why parents start to nag their kids about marriage at that age, I do that all the time to my little brother now and anyone single out there.

I'm against arranged marriages but what the heck, give the guy a chance, you never know what you're missing until it's gone

July 10, 2007 at 10:49 AM  

maybe your mom has a really hot dude for you. who knows? he may look like michael scofield! ;)

ok, teasing aside, i have to agree with you. there shouldn't be a set template for getting married at a specific age and if you pass that age, then you're too old / not marriageable.

having said that, i can tell you that being married is a wonderful experience. BUT, it definitely has to be with your special Mr Right, not some random dude parents / relatives pick for you. that hardly ever works well.

when i was younger, i loathed the idea of getting married and said i never want to. the thought of sharing everything with someone freaked the hell out of me. but all that changed when i met a special girl who i'm lucky to call my wife today.

so there, never say never, eshda3wa.

btw, this might be of interest....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age

July 10, 2007 at 7:34 PM  

U can catch a ride with me, but obviousely I have already been on that train- therefore I dont know how much help I can be- lol :P

But what I think is that unless u feel 100 % ready to get married u shouldnt do it- no matter how many ppl tell u otherwise. Age is a state of mind!

But I wud also love to see my kids get married by the time they are like 24 or 25- cuz I want to have lots of grand babies!!

Remember u are who u are and when the time is right u will know it- and lol@ get with the program- hehe ur mom is funny!

July 10, 2007 at 9:26 PM  

Me and Nonowa read ur post together and guess what---- I was ur mom!!!! And guess who played you-----....well come on....

Kethry men halsuwaleffffff ;p

July 10, 2007 at 9:46 PM  

The way I see it...
Too old equals
Man > 40 | Woman > 30

But in a way your mom is right. Life goes by in a constant motion, once your marriage span is over no one will ever come near you, except the odds and the set-ups of course.

Think about it this way...
- The guy is the one who approaches.
- The girl is the one who accepts/refuses.

One thing completes the other. If there's no approach there will be no chance for marriage. 3omrich sima3tay eb wa7da e56ebat wa7ed? No, right. Note that I'm talking about our community here, not foreign communities.

Let them approach and keep on refusing, just don't block the approach because when you do and no one's there to make that approach you'll end up sending messages to marriage channels and magazines with "wa7da fe moqtabal el 3omr, mowathafa, mothaQafa, tab7ath 3an rajul 6aweel, abyath, '3air Qabali, youfathal ra3i Range Rover .. etc."

You get the point. :P

July 11, 2007 at 9:47 AM  

you are not the only gurl having this damn conversation actually =D

And how about 15 years gurl and her husband ? I can bet they will spend their life playing or fighting together.. Fun nas ketha =P

July 11, 2007 at 11:48 AM  

ms.d
lol
i truly believe that
bs i always thought it was given to them after labour, and a tall skinny guy comes in with big glasses to make sure they know how to work the instruction manual

grey
lol
entertaining her wont be hard
he can always buy her a kinder surprise after he comes home from highschool

um mit3ib
ur officially part of the singles united club

disheveled
AMEN to that!
im gna memorize that!

omtanoo7
sa7 elsan yaditich!
ee can u imagine them starting a family at that age!

navy girl
yeah i guess we all had or will have that conversation with our parents sooner or later

marzouq
true, to them its just the next strp, its the path to happyness
i just dont see that
why its a must
why i have to think about it
why i cant be happy just being happy, and therin lies my disagreement with my mom

purgatory
shes a very interesting person

hasan.b
eeh it seems the old trend is making a come back!
its illegal?!!
ya3ne they would get arrested?

amu
its simple, you cant

July 11, 2007 at 1:02 PM  

new bride
true, very true
and i doubt ill ever be ready

desert girl
im living im living!!
viva LIFE!
taking advantage of every mint
well most inits anyway

1001nights
im grinnig from ear to ear
bs ur rite, maybe i shouldt be so negative about it.

reem
lol
mama says not to say i dont want to get married in public
welcome to the singles united club :)

ni3na3ah
thats our society
bs i can clearly see min all the comments and stuff that the view especially 3ndina the younger generation has definitly changed
and thats a good thing

ra-1
and u r!

rekoo
im waiting

commenter
ur not old until u feel it!

kella late
lool 3ala the marriage gifts
ee wallah i feel so sorry 4 her

coolfreak
really? u think a 15 and 19 year old are responsible adults able to look after themselves, a household, and raise a family?
really?

July 11, 2007 at 2:07 PM  

KJ
i hope it works out, or they will be scarred emotionally for the rest of their lives
and its TOTALLY absurd!

elegante
true true
why mary young?
you have the rest of ur lives to be married!

mise
ill walk!

pearls
but its not there to begin with so im not gna miss it at all
i totally understand where my mom is comming from, but her beliefs n ideas about happiness and fulfilment differes from ine

premester
oooh oooh
a dude like mike! ill take him!
im still at the age of loathing, but i will try to keep an open mind
try being the key word here

nonowa
if by the ride u mean KM's bike, honey im waitin 4 u at the door!!
and i guess watever will be will be!

kella late
loool
glad i provided u with a new orm of entertainment

critisizer
looooooool
u cracked me up
ethaga hathe nehayte ra7 etkoon?
i just want to block the approaches for now
later y9eer khair
bs for now.
this is me trying to reach a compromise

sweetness
i think its gna be a nitemare
both r gna feel so awkward!
and yeah that conversation happenes alot in the arab world

July 11, 2007 at 2:20 PM  

im a proud member;p

July 11, 2007 at 4:17 PM  

lol .. I have this conversation with my Grandma every once in a while also

July 12, 2007 at 11:38 AM  

Hmm..no they will not get arrested. The best scenario is: The molla refuses to attend the milcha. They can obviously bring anotherone and so on. It is illegal according to our rules but legal according to "ilshar3". O i guess people bel q8 follow the following rule: " Lai 7acha ilshar3,il kil yakil teben"?!!? It is like il neqab issue, it is illegal but no one talks about it or does anything to stop it.

July 12, 2007 at 1:57 PM  

Wanted to drop by and say hi
Couldnt bother to read the comments but good 4 u is all i have to say
salutes from Amsterdam eshda3wa wish u happiness

July 13, 2007 at 3:43 AM  

15 & 19?! Are you friggin kiddin me?!?!?!?!?

I just long for the day when traditions start to evolve and "get with the programme" (with all due respect to you and your mom of course :D )

July 16, 2007 at 4:35 PM  

LOOOOL

I know thats a relatively old post but I HAD to comment !!

Congrats 3ala il battle :P aand yes 22 is TOO YOUNG to get married mo 20 :P madri sheno hal habba elli il kil tezawwaj !

7 of my highschool friends got married welli 7amil !! What the hell??

Ma 3alaich ;p don't let them corrupt you !

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November 13, 2009 at 2:37 PM  

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November 20, 2009 at 5:04 AM  

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