May 2, 2007


For the past year I have been trying to change a few things about me
one of the things i started is the THINK POSITIVE campaign
Glass half full kind of stuff. No matter what the situation is, i try to look at the bright side.

well guess what, thinking positive is taking its toll on me, its tiring! and requires way too much effort!

its so much easier to be negative!


that was my first step, to stop obsessing about everything, my weight my hair, my clothes, no matter how i look I'm loving myself
but there are people around me that drive me up the wall
like my roomies lil sister who came to our uni this year, she is the most annoying thing ever!
skinny lil thing, and now shes planning some sort of vibrating needle thingy thing that i never understood (cz i usually block anything that comes out of her mouth) to get rid of her non existent belly

still didn't get there, i HATE dentistry, i curse the day i decided to come here, its so not the profession for me, why am i doing it you ask? cause i believe if you start something, you have to finish it, and i have one year to go, ill get the degree, then do something i actually want to do, but i have to admit, it never gets boring . Who knows maybe by my last year ill fall in love with it, anything is possible

starting with al7emdela, i try to find something positive about why things didn't go my way, its not easy but do- able

Ever since i came to this dump, I'm one angry woman, anything and everything pisses me off, i noticed that about myself and now trying to stay calm
and me not killing the annoying lil bug that is my roomies sister is a great indicator to how much i improved

For a while Ive been going to sleep angry at the world, and i'd start praying for all these negative nasty things to happen to certain ppl, and i feel guilty, so no more sleeping angry for me, i deal with all my problems before i go to bed

I used to bottle things inside of me, never telling anyone whats bothering me, and it turned me into an extremely passive aggressive person, so i had to teach myself how to communicate and actually say what i feel and try to solve whatever it is that needs solving

I learned if you want people to treat you well then, you have to start treating yourself well first

I deserve everything good that comes my way
I deserve to be happy
I deserve to be pampered and spoilt
I deserve it all

Before i embarked on this whole positivity campaign, i was planning on KILL THE PERKY campaign, cause perky ppl annoy the living daylights out of me!
Great improvement on my part if i do say so myself

Alot of the time i want to stop thinking positive and start thinking PINK instead
so much easier don't u think?

But NO, i - eshda3wa- don't give up easily, i will fight to get negativity out of my life
until I'm a bubble of happiness :)

posted by eshda3wa at 2:25 AM


Your blog just freaked me out and made me think negatively instead of following the "positive" thinking process! Im a medical student and im finishing my 4th year now so 2 more yers to go! and i have to admit im not sure if i really like it! I totally think that ur right about finishing what we started! i just hope that i will enjoy what im studying by the time that i start working! cuz at the moment im not!!

May 2, 2007 at 2:50 AM  

That's too tiring, be like me "Don't give a $h!t" :P

May 2, 2007 at 8:38 AM  

I can't see pink! :(

May 2, 2007 at 9:04 AM  

I've been negative for a while but I am trying to think positive. You need to start with the more manageable things first. You won't believe how easy it will be.. start for example by loving what you eat and what you drink. I am serious! If you don't like them, change what you eat, or at least what you drink (water instead of coke). You'll immediately feel better and love yourself more, and continue from there.

It is the little things that make up the whole, don't forget it! The things you highlighted are the whole... you gotta break them down into smaller stuff. You don't like dentistry? Try to like stuff within it.. like how people admire you or how powerful you feel with the drill in your hands.

Little things matter. Big things are a result of little things.

May 2, 2007 at 9:24 AM  

keep fighting it girl :)

am kinda doing all of those except loving myself :s

btw.. am Hussain but i've changed my name and blog ;D

May 2, 2007 at 9:25 AM  

Doc ! 'thinking possitive' is bringing the best out of you as a writer ! Exellent post !!

May 2, 2007 at 9:30 AM  

"Kill The Perky." You are utterly brilliant. (mashala) If you don’t do it I'm launching that campaign myself!

I majored and did a Masters in things that have to do with the finance industry. I only realized I wanna be a writer close to the second semester of the second year of my masters degree. I don’t regret it though. You need to do something that pays the bills while you decide what you really want! You got one year to go, hang in there sweetie.

(And if you think the vibrating needle thing is insane, I had a friend who was told she could lose weight by floating in a tub of water through special technology.)

May 2, 2007 at 9:39 AM  

i wish i wish i could think positely , heheh i am i negative person , i keep reminding myself that i have to change but i can`t :)

i will try

May 2, 2007 at 9:54 AM  

الكثير من الأطباء يكرهون وظائفهم .. و دخلوا هذا المجال بسبب ضغوط الاهل .. أو المعدل المرتفع .. أو الطموح الغير موجه

الحصول على شهادة الطب شيء جيد .. ولكن لا يعني ان نحصر طموحاتنا في مجال الطب فقط .. نستطيع ان نجعل الشهاده للوظيفه و المعاش .. و نجعل باقي ساعات اليوم لممارسة ما نحب بدلا من شغلها في ندب الحظ

شكرا على المدونه الجميله

May 2, 2007 at 10:27 AM  

walain i read this o i left the page open then my friend came in o lihait o al7een thanks of moderation madri if i commented wila la2 =/ did i ? :P mabi a3eed nafsi fa gilt il ask o an6urich u post them o if i didnt il drop off a proper one :P

May 2, 2007 at 10:38 AM  

wala ur right .. way to go happy bubbly girl

May 2, 2007 at 12:44 PM  

you're doing well I see =}

I mean positive thinking isn't only hard it's also dangerous and requires alot of risk taking that could eventually lead to complete break down and emotional damage, it's alot like being in denial, I think it's healthy to live every moment as should be lived, so what if there was some negativity in our lives? just don't let it take over, but the "love thy self" bit? I loved the most, I totally believe in it and I think you should always come first, if you don't love you first then you won't know how to love your family and friends, loving the pink thinking baby cousin, your post braught so much pink to my day =}


PS: cheney wayed garagt? hatha daleel 3ala ena I was touched fa enfe3alt shway =P

May 2, 2007 at 1:34 PM  

Hip Hip Horray for Thinking positive. I like the idea of kickin perky ppl. I think I'll do just that.

~ Transparently

May 2, 2007 at 2:27 PM  

Very good!! Always think positive. On the whole, it will improve your disposition in life. Start with small things ,and then go on to big ones..

Good going!! Keep it up, girl!!

May 2, 2007 at 3:28 PM  

Antum el sabiqoon wa na7nu ella7iqoon :)

May 2, 2007 at 3:33 PM  

Bottling up. I do that. I bottle up and then lash out on the wrong people almost 100% of the time.


as for thinking happy, you dont have to force yourself to be happy! You're allowed days where all you can think about is the crappy stuff. Its healthy, definitely healthier than being a happy bubble 24/7.

Cause thats when you start bottling things up... waaaiii its a crappy cycle ;P

I hate the shitty place i'm in to, can't wait till I get to leave :s

You're doing fine sweety :*

May 2, 2007 at 5:35 PM  

Thatz one of the best posts i've read :) Great job and don't give up on you plan.. I'm gona start doing a couple of the things you mentioned myself :)

May 2, 2007 at 5:43 PM  

id go with ra3eha, and dont be a statistics ( most sucidal pple are the tooth fairy pple :D)

here's how i go positive through out the week
saturday: make peace with work, and full time it with busy busy busy.

sunday: yada yada yada my soul out in a girly dewaneyah.

monday: black and white romantic arabic movies night :D

tuesday: look up a religious session 'dars deni' here in there to attend.

wednesday: skip work early, yet wait til official work time is on to really really enjoy it :D

thursday: family night
friday: youm anathafa al 3alami, and u must know what cleanliness does to the soul.

good luck girl

May 2, 2007 at 5:45 PM  

well I see that you have found a good path to becoming a better person.

I just have one thing to add:
in my opinion what whatever happens to us good or bad, is always for the better. it's only our perception of them that judges them bad

May 2, 2007 at 5:53 PM  

oh, and what the hell is PINK??????

May 2, 2007 at 5:54 PM  

that's my gurl!!

*itsharbik lich*

May 2, 2007 at 7:45 PM  

this post is coinciding with a pledge i made to myself to become like my blood type "B+".
I used to be a very positive person and I can't tell you how great it was. Little conflicts and rare problems. Then something happened to me that made me feel I lost my "empire" and I became a negative, naggy person.

I wanna be like my old self. Let's start together :)

May 3, 2007 at 1:03 AM  

Thats fantastic girl, you should always be happy and just look on the bright side, it isn't too tough just surround yourself with good people and one thing is for sure! Enjoy what ever you are doing! Seriously! enjoy it and go ahead with, you have a great attitude to life!! Keep on truckin girl!! :)

May 3, 2007 at 3:54 AM  


I want ONE dentistry student (nowadays) that is not hating/cursing/regretting studying dentistry or that they want to do it so badly not just to finish what they were doing.

Tell me if you have met anyone il3aks :P

May 3, 2007 at 4:42 AM  

sweetheart thats teh best you can do....THINKING POSITIVE :D

you have to watch the movie "the secret"...its changes teh way u think about things in ur life...basically just the way u think and how your feelings reflect on your life are doing great sweetie....and you are doing this alone....that takes a very strong person to do that and still have teh morals and values that u are doing alot...and might not realize it....and u also might not know that u are secretly inspiring many others around and offline...eshda3wa my are a STAR...beautiful and shinning and lighting/guiding peoples ways =D

thats not BS talk...I know you and I felt that through ur talks

And I really love teh way u handle things (especially fata aljabal thingie)

take care and keep thinking positive :***

May 3, 2007 at 7:23 AM  

VERY nicely written mashalla! good for u walla.. it takes alot of guts to let go of all the ba6aat il chabd wil tenerfez ili bottled up min diff things ;p your roomies lil sis ba6at chabdi ana be3ad for some reason ;p

May 3, 2007 at 11:19 AM  

Good for you eshda3wa :D
*hugs* this came in its right time. Honestly this is what I should have done from the beginning, think positive in order to graduate.

- I love myself as I am, but I sometimes feel like changing some stuff.

- don’t you sometimes wish that they have created this thing that mutes people, wallahi I sometimes feel like muting my sis coz when ever she starts to talk she never stops and if I tell her you talk a lot and please close your mouth, she says "al7ag 3alay illy 8a3da asolif ma3ak" uuuuhhhh she really gets on my nerves.

- I'm majoring in something I did not want or to say the truth was the rabi3 ra'3bah, 3ady this is life and nothing goes the way we want. Bas al7amedlleah 3la kol 7al.You know I learned to love what I'm doing, I'm happy that I'm an English literature students :D but I really hate the linguistic courses that we have to take. Insha2 Allah you would fall in love with your major :D

- I usually bottle everything inside of me and suddenly comes this moment where I can't take it anymore and burst into tears. After crying I feel much better. You are right we should say if we are sad or if someone disappoints us or even if this person hurts us.

(a very long comment)

May 3, 2007 at 12:31 PM  

at least you've got ur head start, i was driving people insane with how negative i was, till i noticed damn it Ella , its time for a chanage!!!! did pretty much everything ur on the brink of doing, and i've gotten postive feedback, i attract people better with my new aura, where as b4 i'd push them away !! :D

dont go killing anybody ...
stay positive... think pink purple and bluee! :D calming sensations !!!

May 3, 2007 at 1:34 PM  

were all in the same boat , i guess all we can do is... i dont know, pray maybe?

yeah that works too

u can think BLUE

ur so right!
little things do make a big differance
i will start looking for small things that i like abt my major
who knows maybe thatll provide me with the answeres i need

glad ur back

well then start loving urself wat r u waiting for!!

happy wolf
thank you!

dont tempt me really!

im hanging, just barely though... but ur totally right, u gotta think abt the bills..

a TUB? r u serious? i cant even begin to phantom wat the "technology" is!the things ppl do to themselves these days!

and thank u for the complement
<--- blushes

new bride
u definitly should try
start small and slow
u'll get there in time inshallah

welcome to my blog

ide rather my job be something i love and look foreward to doing, and spend the rest of my day doing other things i love
but ur right, if you cant have both, atleast make the most of the other

u didnt
yallah im waiting for the proper one :)

May 3, 2007 at 2:20 PM  

SLEEP HAPPY & TREAT YOURSELF WELL. are the best 2 things I do to myself hahah.. ;)

May 3, 2007 at 2:21 PM  

yallah come join me, being in a bubble rocks!

Sponty onty
hey cuzn!
thats the thing, negativity was totally taking over, and sure negative things do happen, but the fact that it was brining me down was wats bothering me
yeah i love loving myself, but its kind of a dangerous teritory too
cz i sure want to put myself first, but at the same time ma abe akoon selfish, thin line

miss you :**

ide like to welcome the new you!
we can start a coalition against the perky!
they must go down down i tell ya!

im trying, and i already feel the difference :)

inshallah to the better ya rab :)

dont we all
being a happy bubble, dosent mean denying the fact that theres saddness there too, but i try to look for the good thats in it, somewhere, somehow, that it really is all for the better

hey girl!
thank u sweety
glad u liked it
u should try a couple of things and tell me how theywrok out for u!

i need more of yada yadaing nites
i miss my girls!

i see where ur comming from, i think i will change a few things again.. dont wana end up like the thoothfairy ppl!

solar alch
true, thats where looking for the bright side comes in
it all depends of ur perception

merciiii merciii
<--- et6eg ergoba

May 3, 2007 at 2:40 PM  

do better than ur blood, be an A+

which reminds me, if ur ever in need of a blood transfusion, gimme a call :)
we got the same blood type

I think thats my problem
not too many great ppl are around me theses days
need to start looking around!
u know wat would make my life even better??

the tooth.fairy


nope i dont think happy dental students exsist

<--- BEAMS

7ayate that put such a huge smile on my face, espcially comming from you!
and believe me intay an example of greatness :*****

lol , yeah fata aljabal lail7een yzoorne ya7laila, moo gader 3ala fraagna ;)

im downloading the movie right now

take care 7abeebte :*
lots of love!

ba6at chabdich lana 9ij etb6 elchabd!
oh well but thats life i guess, always someone thats like a thorn!
the bright side of her being in my life : i know exactly wat NOT to be

<--- HUG
yeah my sister is like that, except when i tell her to sush she says laa la7tha bagoolich
when i say i dont want to hear it she says bs bga shwaya! (love u joz)

i really do hope i end up likeing my major! oo yallah ma bga shay hanat..

it makes such a huge differance to talk about how u feel, really dont bottle up, ull feel so much better

(ur comment isnt long enough! make em longer!)

change is so great isnt it?!
well some of the time!

yeah thinking like a rainbow!

May 3, 2007 at 2:55 PM  

good 4 u wallah!
keep doing em!

May 3, 2007 at 2:59 PM  

Zain tsaweeen! YOU GO GIRL;D

May 3, 2007 at 3:56 PM  

Hmmm I would’ve killed that lil annoying tart! Good for u wallah 7bebty! Hmmm I’m thinking of doing the same… I need positivity… I too sometimes wonder why did I choose doing what I do! Allah kreem 7bebty! Hope everything works well for you :*

May 3, 2007 at 6:04 PM  

that was an excellent post, eshda3wa!

i've tried being positive and i fully agree that it is the most tiring thing in the world to try to do.

since then, i've come to the conclusion that i'm either a positive person or a negative person depending on how god intended me to be.

love thy self... love thy job... bleah....

May 3, 2007 at 9:11 PM  

Awwww **hugs**

thats such an uplifting post!!

but i guess a person needs to optimistic and postitive to keep going on, and hanging in this rollercoaster life :)

as for me... without the up's and downs, (aka -tive & +tive attitudes) just make the ride alot more spicier!!

great job honey bun!!

lool btw i'm always called the "bubbly girl" at work cos most of the expats can barely pronounce my name :P

May 3, 2007 at 11:04 PM  

no eshda3wa, you are missing the point. Both our blood types are B+ (Be Positive)...Got it?

its in ur blood to be positive

May 4, 2007 at 12:30 AM  

I've been doin the think positive for quite sometime now, bes its not that hard =/ i dunno why you see it as easier to be negative. Like in LOVE THY SELF you knw ur roomies sis ma3indaha salfa so why let her get to you? in LOVE THY WORK kafi it never gets boring besides you never you might fall in love with the whole washing feet thing =P and yea CALM DOWN not killing is a start inshala soon she wont be able to drive you mad so easily. SLEEP HAPPY .. erm ITS SLEEP when u go to sleep lazim tinsain kilshay o focus on the fact your about to sleep o that alone should be able to put a smile on ur face =P shlown tistamti3een ib nomtich if u sleep angry =@ oo you do deserve it =] oo 3ithreeni if i dont wana think pink :P i got enuf ppl calling me girl-like already :P

May 4, 2007 at 4:48 AM  

too much positivity *screams* ma at7amal!

a while back i posted an angry thread. i check ur blog and ur post is about anger management. now this. weird, we're like opposites

May 4, 2007 at 5:34 AM  

believe me you should never bottle things up inside because it will come back the times you are most vulnerable .. speak your mind

May 4, 2007 at 7:14 AM  

no bubble of happiness for u! be a big baloon of happiness ;) blimp of happiness! bowl of happiness.. any container that would last and last and last for a LOOOONG time ;)

really enjoyed reading ur post :D

May 4, 2007 at 9:32 AM  

i very LOVE your post !

has been saved in the brain

this is why i want to have some time for my self lately

بسنا تشويش مخي

بس ترا يبيله شغل أزيد من الرجيم

هذا مخ مو لعبه

May 4, 2007 at 12:42 PM  

U go girl! :)

May 4, 2007 at 1:16 PM  

I deserve everything good that comes my way
I deserve to be happy
I deserve to be pampered and spoilt
I deserve it all

girl you deserve a bike, that will make positive 100%...

and when you see the perky peeps, just twist that that acceleration bar, let your machine scream and growl on them and smile..positively..

And what is wrong with your profession, its cool..I wish I could 6el be7looj el2wadem and drill in..zzzsssssssszzzzsss..I like this souned..positively ;)

May 4, 2007 at 6:52 PM  

omg i so can relate, i was on a kill perky campaign until ma i decided to stop the drama and just work on being happy, and it alot of work, sometimes its just too easy to go back to the way i was before, but then i toughen up and say enough is enough no more ms grouchy princess!!

May 4, 2007 at 8:41 PM  

I want to think Positive =(


May 4, 2007 at 11:52 PM  

GO GO GO Eshda3wa ..

with that way of think'n

i'm sure u'll be eSHda3wa the ultimate positve girl .. that can switch to pink whenever she feels so ;P

i've been there .. w it's not that hard 3n el3ayaaaaraaaaaa ..

or i'm used to be too (+) now w just remember'n sweet things ! wallaah ma adree ..

i can feel the power .. i can smell Victory ;P ur post gave me a push to start this day .. sheftaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ur influence mn only one visit to ur blog :D

May 5, 2007 at 3:32 AM  

thankx girl!

i think everyone goes thru that atleast once, wondering if they made the right desision
inshallah u'll start thinking positive too :**

The Prem
bleah is right!
to alter between being positive and negative is ok
the problem with me is that i was always negative!

i love bubbly girl!
<--- HUG
it does make it alot more interesting dosent it :)

oh i never thought of it that way !
hehehe... anyways stillif u ever do need blood :p

washing feet haaaa!
if u ever end up in my chair whahahaha!
and despite wat u mite believe sleep sleep aint the biggest joy in life!
wede teg3ad ma3a the lil bug and lets see if u dont end up killing her :)

it is weird!
maybe it was ment to be ina i write post that calm u down
moo make u kill urself!!

chica bonita
thats wat im trying to do

the simper
yeah something more lating would definitly be better :)

May 5, 2007 at 10:53 AM  

oh yeah the switch is pure agony!
definitly harder than any diets!!
glad u loved it :**

yeah baby!

kella meta5er
do u know how much im DIEING to get a bike!
i love bikes!
i dont think theres anything i want more than a bike!
there mere mention of getting one will give my mom a heart attak
but one day inshallah ill have on of my own

uggghhh man the perky should be allowed to live!
keep up the good work and inshallah u'll be a buble of happiness too

baby steps my dear
baby steps

a7la eng
ur comment totally put a huge smile on my face!
im so glad u liked it
and welcome o my blog
hope to see alot mre of u!

May 5, 2007 at 10:59 AM  

i used to have a lot of negative energy o i used to get annoyed/ticked off at so many things. then i quit my job and started another one. boy, did that make a huge difference! :)

good luck. YOU CAN DO IT (a la Waterboy style!)

May 5, 2007 at 12:28 PM  

checkout this famous saying "It's not what happens to you that hurts you, it's your reaction to it". so u can be pissed @ the world and how crappy it is or u can just get even and crap on it and not let i it get the best of u , how's that for a positive outlook :)

May 5, 2007 at 4:10 PM  

yeah i read so much about what a healthy work environment cn do for you!
hehe yeah inshallah i can do it!

dazed and confused
alot of crapping going on for my likeing!
but it holds true!

May 5, 2007 at 5:52 PM  

this post made me stop, think, smile and be hopeful :D

I should definately embark on this campaign. YOU ROCK

and i don't care you are getting one of those:

take care

May 5, 2007 at 7:19 PM  

Positive thinking....whats that?? :) Just kiddin….
There are some things in my life I wish I cud change, but none of them are really important.

Like I love teaching, but my heart is really wanting to do something else. And thinking positively every morning at 6 AM doesnt always work for me- u know what I mean? But I get through it, becuz I have to.
When I feel like life is bringing me down- I just look at my children and my hubby and see how lucky I am and that makes me feel positive all over.
Being a mom to 2 wonderful kids, a wife to a wonderful man, having my health, having my family and friends just puts everything into perspective.
And feeling postive is all that comes from that- whats a job??? Who cares?
Its just 6 hours of my life- thats it.

Never bottle things up, talk it out- get it out!
And one very important suggestion for couples- NEVER GO TO SLEEP ANGRY!!

Life is too short not to be positive, but I still hate perky peole- LOL They are just over happy :p

Just by reading your blog, I think u are already a bubble of happiness and that in turn makes me a bubble of happiness….and so on and so on.
We are all bubbles of happiness sometimes….. :)

Sorry its soooo long habibty. Hope u didnt fall asleep :P

May 5, 2007 at 9:01 PM  

lool cute post.
Honey I gotta say, if ur an Arab u can't help but think negative! It's a requirement :P

May 7, 2007 at 10:36 AM  

always negative, you say?

hmmm... welcome to the club.

May 7, 2007 at 5:29 PM  

ur comments can never be too long!
its good that you can always pause take a breath and count your blessings
thats what im trying to teach myself to do

Girl meets world
so true!
aaaakh ya zimannn
its in our blood!

the premester
no no!
i want out of that club!

May 8, 2007 at 11:27 AM  

i must seems to me that you've done pretty much alot of what you wanted to do in this post =)

i like what you've written oo intend to follow through with all the points expect for one:

the communication thing.

look, i was never one to communicate oo wayed no3y eli i bottle things up (you wouldnt think, no? ;Pp)

bs if bottling up will help me become a passive aggressive person, then let the bottling begin! =D

ana wa7da ive been nothing but nice my entire life, and all ive seen happen is people taking advantange of that and not thinking twice about breaking me just to get their way

and im through with through being the bigger better ive some to realize that the bigger better person doesnt end up anywhere =\

bs did i mention that i do love the post? im one of those bubbly perky people, so i think you wouldve shot me a couple of years back ;Pp

April 26, 2009 at 9:05 PM  

ya but the problem with being passive aggressive is you usually take your anger out at the wrong person o wrong time !

and the point of communicating is NOT having ppl take advantage of you

anyways im far from being a bubble of happiness
but im content and thats a step in the right direction

April 27, 2009 at 12:30 AM  

ee bas when your passive agressive ma7ad yetjara a9lan oo y'3ale6 3laich...fa essentially you dont have to put yourself in that situation anymore, fahmatny?

and i really dont like this whole communication business...wallah shkether i treid to communicate with people...yet3adaloon shwaya bs b3dain yreddoon 3ala 7alhom...fa ive found that passive aggressive is the best solution!

wallah people dont even deserve the benefit of the doubt...if you lash out at the wrong person at the wrong time, know that if s/he hadnt done something to deserve it, s/he will soon

April 29, 2009 at 6:34 PM  

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