eshda3wa

January 6, 2008

Making Friends




The older you get, the harder it is to make friends.
I remember when I was a kid it took me all of 30 seconds to find someone to play with.

Now however its a different story.
I'm a sheltered person by nature. Although I'm very social and can get along with almost anybody, I don't befriend people easily.

I'm not one to just start talking about personal things. My university friends know close to nothing about my personal life although Ive been living with them for the past five years. The only one to know bits and pieces is my roommate.

All my friends I have known since childhood. My social circle is so small i could probably count em with one hand!
Each person occupies a big place in my heart since there's a lot of space to go around!

Some people tell me that this is a bad thing, that I'm supposed to expand my "connections", the more people you know the merrier.

I say id rather stay connected with the people that i grew up with.Expand on the relationships I already have, and put more effort into them.

Its not the quantity of relationships you have, its definitely the quality!
posted by eshda3wa at 12:55 AM

36 Comments:

I agree, it tough to make friends now when I'm older! And my childhood friends are still my good close friends. You got to love those friend they are awesome!

January 7, 2008 at 12:59 AM  

shotgun ?

January 7, 2008 at 3:40 AM  

ana sayra 3asraaaa ;p

January 7, 2008 at 3:41 AM  

Well, there is nothing wrong in having more friends, BUT like you said, IT IS THE QUALITY that matters.

One is better off with 2 or 3 good/true friends, as opposed to 10 CONNECTIONS.

Making friends is cool, keeping the friendship alive (with old friends or new ones), now THAT IS DEFINITELY MORE IMPORTANT.

January 7, 2008 at 4:28 AM  

I can agree with what your saying, I have close friend and I have a lot of acquaintances, but I think I'm pretty easy going.

I have a certain relationship with certain people which is a good thing :)

January 7, 2008 at 8:18 AM  

try having different set of friends that cant get along and trying to find time to spend with them it's hard...

January 7, 2008 at 9:43 AM  

it is good to know more people and u don`t have to make them your friends , i know waaayed nas bas i only have one best friend o madree al7een etha she is going to talk to me again :P

January 7, 2008 at 9:56 AM  

1st happy new year
I was told when I 1st went to the states, one of the most quotes that affected my life: increase the number of your acquaintances and decrease the number of friends.
It is perfectly normal to have only few friends, u can socialize etc thats fine u have good acquaintances. I think you shouldn't worry about a thing is what am trying to say :)

January 7, 2008 at 10:45 AM  

Cheers:)

January 7, 2008 at 12:45 PM  

good close griends is hard to find!! and when you do, consider your self very lucky!! but having acquaintances is important and maintaining a going relatioship with them would sure show it self to be quite useful one day

January 7, 2008 at 1:24 PM  

linus
the best!

um mit3ib
7awl maratan okhraa!
eeh intay hal ayam mata7achain allah yhadach!

lord raj
the thing is
i dont know how to make new ones!

marzouq
i have like Zero acquaintances!

tat
oh believe me im there!
sometimes i want to beat both groups up!

new bride
haw laish!
i dont know a great many people

kaos
happy new year to u too!
the thing is i make no acquaintances
its either ur my friend or ur not
mako in between

amethyst
cheerz!

someday
thats what people keep telling me!!

January 7, 2008 at 1:53 PM  

eshda3wa -

as Kaos suggested, one can always have acquaintances. And that doesn't necessarily imply being close friends or anything, that just means being cordial and civil.

And of course participating in group talks and socializing or attending a get-together or two - would help meeting up with acquaintances.

Shouldn't be too hard. I mean... I don't know, personally I am rubbish with making new friends or acquaintances, but that is basically because I am not a people's person and I am too highly opinionated for my own good.

But then, there aren't too many characters like that around, and from your blog posts, you definitely don't seem to be that type (I could be wrong).

Either ways.. All the best to you.
Cheers

January 7, 2008 at 2:03 PM  

Once you get out of the Universaty you will have even less friends , once you get married you will have even lesser ! Thats life ...

January 7, 2008 at 3:52 PM  

To quote my favourite song, "The Sunscreen Song" by Baz Luhrman (I get all my life advice from that one song, you should give it a listen sometime)

"...Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young."

January 7, 2008 at 4:38 PM  

it was easier when we were kids because there were no expectations. a simple you let me play with ur stuff, i let u play with mine. Or an even more simple "Wanna play?" Reply: "Ok"

Now its too difficult because friendship requires a lot of hard work and maintenance, and many ppl are not as nice as they appear to be.

January 7, 2008 at 4:57 PM  

heyy i wanted to say the quality/quantity line :p whyd u sneak it in at the end :P

o and im pretty sure theres nothing wrong with havin such a small circle of very good friends =]

January 7, 2008 at 6:02 PM  

its hard to make friends nowadays anyways .. everyone is up to something .. so you better hold on to your old friends :)

January 7, 2008 at 6:16 PM  

It's definitely quality and not quantity. The more friends, the more mashakil. Ishlich ib 3awar ilras? Moo kilman yistahal to be ur close friends anyway. And if u find 1, 2, or 3 ur lucky so hold on to them becuz genuine frienships last thru thick and thin.. forever.

When ppl say u shud hav lots of friends/connections etc, they don't mean "close" friends. They probably mean "ma3arif", bcuz in q8 and anywhere else, bs in q8 a7is especially, u nee to built connections and u need to mingle in with ppl cuz otherwise it's as tho u do not exist. Plus it makes it easier in case u need wa96a or anything like that.

January 7, 2008 at 9:46 PM  

ur soooooooooooo right!!!!
7adaaaaaa quality and not quantity...
o momken 3elaqtech ma3 friend teswa malion alf 3elaqa a9lan!
allah ykhalehom lich...can't go through life without those few good friends ;**

January 7, 2008 at 10:55 PM  

Its not how many friends you got!
what counts real friends not some kinda social behavior you have to adopt to.

January 7, 2008 at 10:55 PM  

I Don't make friends easily either. I have been hurt twice which makes it much harder for me now!

January 7, 2008 at 11:26 PM  

I agree that the older you are the harder it gets. But it's also nice to have a big group of friends to hang out not necessarily share your secrets with them and what not..

January 8, 2008 at 12:06 AM  

Try making friends in Kuwait when you've just moved back after living abroad and avoiding all kuwaiti contact for the past decade... Thats when you truly experience how hard it is to make friends... regardless of quality or quantity lol

January 8, 2008 at 1:42 AM  

It may be true that one makes the longest lasting friendships in childhood but sometimes when we are adults, special people do make their way into our hearts and make a lasting impression - when the time is right for them tho come into our lives

January 8, 2008 at 8:40 AM  

I am opposite to you. I don't believe in "complete" friends. I have many friends where each one fills or contributes to a side of me :)

January 8, 2008 at 12:01 PM  

Cute post. Reminded of one of my many best friends during my earlier years, he had a toy airplane and I asked him to be my best friend. I was such a whore.

January 8, 2008 at 12:47 PM  

Ayam awal I could easily be friends with someone who has the same t-shirt color as me! lol

I guess it's because these days people are more protective, less trusting.. nobody has their guard down.. madri, ghair..

January 8, 2008 at 1:27 PM  

Yeah I know how that feels, if I wanna say I have lots of friends, I do..I have lots of people around me, bikers, colleagues, dowaneyya or chalet guys, lots of people around..

But, I really cant say I have friends friends, the real meaning of this..I have only two, and unfortunately, there is almost no connections going on between us..everybody occupied with there own life..but whan we call each other or see each other by accident, it like we were to gather yesterday..while some people only want you for what you`ve got!!

lots around, but as friends..they are not worthy!!

January 8, 2008 at 6:10 PM  

As long as YOU are happy with you circle of friends, that's all that matters. Don't let people make you feel weird or insecure. People have a select group of friends that they trust in this increasingly distrustful world. Hey, how many people are we going to open ourselves to and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to? We're not stupid to over expose!

Just my 2 fils. (mala8aaa)

January 8, 2008 at 7:02 PM  

Quantity of friends definitely means nothing...
I'd settle for one faithful best friend!

So girl I couldn't agree more with you... invest in the friendship of those you already have and like

January 8, 2008 at 7:57 PM  

If you lead a secretive life, of course you’ll find it difficult to make new friends. Is it wise not to trust anyone you haven’t known when you were young? I’d say not always.
I don’t think I have many friends, but for reason other than being a CIA agent. Quality is definitely one of the reasons.
Regards

January 8, 2008 at 8:06 PM  

eshda3wa,...

I miss reading you're posts... your so clear and simple in them...

I understand what your going through,... It might be hard now but sooner you'll have interests in new things in life other than ppl around. and u'll meet new faces,... u wont plan it but they'll c the good parts in you and u will make new friend.

This is life, ppl come and go. We just have to learn how to cope...

I'll be your friend when ever you need one ;)

January 8, 2008 at 10:35 PM  

if you ever need to talk about feelings or something personal, you feel vulnerable talking to people you know or the people around you (unless youre VERY close). otherwise, its always easier to talk to a stranger. you bypass the whole issue of getting judged, resented, or anything else. finding real friends at this age is difficult. it was easy when we were 10, 15... maybe even 20... real friends... it gets more difficult when you pass that

January 9, 2008 at 6:01 PM  

well dear the older we get the more we see of this world and more pain we go through so we get more aware of who we choose or not for friends! i used to be like you in 10 sec have a friend, now it's like i can trust 3 or 5 friends max in my life! i mean why is it so difficult?? why can't people respect each other and trust each other? well that is not for us to answer, it's for us to question! my mum said to me if you die knowing 3 truthful friends... then you die knowing you did well in this life! now i do believe she is very right! :)

January 9, 2008 at 8:53 PM  

Totally agree, its really much harder for me to befriend ppl now, bas now I realized its easier for me to forget people who hurt me also. I don't give 2nd chances to friends (madry if thats a good or bad thing).
Its good to have a close circle of friends u trust, bas at the same time you still need to expand your aquaintances, especially in q8. 6ab3an they won't know anything about you, bas il mojamalat LAZIM no matter how much u hate it, its actually a good experience in dealing with ppl.
sorry long comment!

January 11, 2008 at 1:29 AM  

It definitely is about quality, and as long as you're satisfied with your closed circle there is no need to spill out your secrets to the public

January 12, 2008 at 10:32 PM  

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