November 30, 2007

Peer Pressure

It doesn't get easier as you get older. Peer Pressure is always present.
You know how they say the older the wiser?
I don't believe that is the case, a lot of people seem to get even more stupid, and weaker.
Submitting to peer pressure and doing things that any person in their right state of mind will know not to do.

I was always good at setting certain lines and not crossing them. I had my share of fun, I broke more than my share of rules, but there were things that I would never ever try to do no matter how many people were doing it. I never had the need to "experiment" with certain stuff.

God blessed me with friends that would happily say no for me, even when they were doing something, they were very respectful of my boundaries. They never goaded me, or pushed me to take part in something they knew I deemed morally wrong and vise versa.

The thing is now that we are older, its harder trying to stop someone you know form going over the edge, they always think they know what they are doing, and its always just one time, and I'm not 17 anymore I can handle it.

So i find myself helpless, on the outside looking in instead of part of the group. Its getting harder to play cool, and oh you can do whatever you want I'm fine with it. I'm not fine anymore, its not cool to watch someone you deeply care about hurt themselves and you put a smile of your face.

Does it ever stop? That constant battle with stupidity?!
posted by eshda3wa at 2:05 AM


Thank God that one of the good things about me was have strong will. Otherwise, I would have been a totally different person.

No matter how much people made fun of me and my careful or serious approach to life, I still abide by my beliefs and values no matter what.

November 30, 2007 at 2:27 AM  

Well, no it doesn't get better, this coming from an "older" supposed to ba mature person.. we undergo that everyday & it's good that you have your set of rules so don't let anyone change that & remember, you live & learn :)

November 30, 2007 at 2:30 AM  

i can relate to your post soo much , i was thinking about all this lately.... eventually it does get easier to deal with stupidty! just push them out of your life, its wat their asking for anyway.... Your a woman now, and you know what you want, and what you stand for in this life, if its not something that falls under the simplist of categories which are your morals and ethics, why should you deal with it ? simple.

( just like your previous points on how to say no, u can easily deal with this. And People no matter how old they are will always seek advice .. so that hun will .. NEVER stop ;) )

p.s. sorry bout the long reply, bas i did my reading up on ur blog, oo mara et7amst 3ala ur dramatic life! - keep the drama burning ;)

November 30, 2007 at 2:40 AM  

the hard part of the regarding issue .. is where to find good and honest friend in these days .. if ur blessed with good ones i am happy for you .. and i wish that for every body who needs it .. lastly, God gave us mind "brain" to decide whats good and whats bad disregard peer pressure or having good friends or bad ones.

catch ya later & tc

November 30, 2007 at 3:20 AM  

See.. the thing is you either get older and wiser or just get older! (You cant teach an old dog new tricks.. right?)
Also know that it takes strong willpower and lots of common sense to do what you are doing! Which is 100% RIGHT! Realizing what they are doing as mistakes means something, despite the fact that it really got you mixed up and all! But it means you are mature enough to know its wrong and avoid it!

I am glad you didnt give in to peer pressure... it shows you have the strength in your character and keep doing what you are doing :-)

November 30, 2007 at 8:53 AM  

It will never stop, unless they realize for themselves even with pointers or help from some friends it will never change.

I have pointed things out to friends before and if they keep doing it then I just keep my distance, you have to make a decision. Its as simple as that!

November 30, 2007 at 9:36 AM  

Totally true!!
First personally I find myself more sensitive as I grow up. I can't handle some things and I can't take some things people say to me. Before it was like, WHatever but now I feel it affects me..
Another thing is what you said about getting older, some people are like over fifty and you feel you are wiser than them?! I mean really some people become more, well, let's say less wise lol! and yeah, you cannot tell them they are wrong..

November 30, 2007 at 11:24 AM  

well i guess this has nothing to do with age. People do stuff all the time no matter the age. But friends are friends and by now you should know even if this friend is acting stupidly if she/he is worth keeping.
I backoff a bit and take a break and clear my mind and make my decision whether to still hang on to their friendship. With age you won't be allured to do something you're against easily. I believe true friends a hard to find so keep the great ones as long as you can.

November 30, 2007 at 12:45 PM  

I’m afraid it wont ever stop hun ! I’m sorry but this is life .. happens with me as well .. I mean I have my own set or rules that I go by … I don’t really think much of whatever people think cuz at the end I cant please everyone .. so as a result I started to STOP telling people “even those very close to me” to do the right thing & stop whatever they are doing and stop messing around .. i just tell them whatever i think … and that’s about it .. wala they come running to me for solutions , but I cant tell someone to do this or that ! I only tell them what I think is right .. and at the end its up to them .. they will get hurt but they will learn and walk away fine with experience ..

November 30, 2007 at 2:51 PM  

the most intelligent people also have to deal with stupidity. when you end up analyzing things in so much detail, you end up missing the most obvious facts, and do something seemingly very stupid.

as for peer pressure, it all depends on who you hang around with; most people try to fit in, so the peer pressure actually comes from inside rather than from the people around you

November 30, 2007 at 5:30 PM  

I never got the appeal to getting drunk or going to parties or taking drugs or having premarital sex. Convincing a person to end their immoral ways is something I've found to be impossible. The only way they ever will change is if something happens to them.

November 30, 2007 at 7:57 PM  

Peer pressure exists even when ur really old!

I bet u've heard how some old women or men r pressured to "act old" even though they feel young.

So there u go, it never stops.

Use ur head wisely ;)

November 30, 2007 at 8:05 PM  

hmmm... w/ some ppl it'll never matter how you feel. they have to experience life on their own terms.

ppl change and w/ maturity comes distance many times. you may find that ppl you cared about in your younger years have changed so much that you don't know them any more.

when your hands are held down as a child and you're pushed one way, many times you act out as a form of escape - i'm sure you know this. sometimes ppl have to experience bad in order to come back to good.

just be there for them... sometimes they're not bad just because they experiment w/ things you may see as morally wrong.

November 30, 2007 at 9:18 PM  

good topic!
walah i don't see that its getting better at all! oo 3ala golat my friend "bas 3ayztay etrben fena" o wallah i don't see it as a trabeya or shay chethee! bas jad ektshaft enaa il right wel wrong shay nesbee! kel wa7ed eyshofa ghair 3an il thanee oo hathe akbar moshkila thats why we think that those who are close to our hearts may get hurt by stupid things they do! bas bel akher iykon hal shay eb wejhat nathrna bas mo 3ndhom! they might be fine with it!

November 30, 2007 at 10:56 PM  

Peer Presuure Is always There!

December 1, 2007 at 12:25 AM  

this is what i like to call post-goody crisis .

when u've been relatively a goody goody throughout ur teenage years and ealy adulthood, u feel like u missed a part of ur life where u got crazy and fun u find urself ok with a lot of things u never thought u would be ok with.
ur friend will either grow out of it or will stick to this new him/her ...only time will tell

December 1, 2007 at 1:01 AM  

Eshda3wa .. Peer Pressure is something u need to learn to deal with according to what makes u feel better ..

December 1, 2007 at 3:19 AM  

Walla, I so understand!
I'm in this kind of situation right now. I have a friend that isn't acting the way the should be acting. Doing things that she KNOWS is wrong.

And I feel like theres nothing I can do to stop her =/ If I tell her she's wrong; I know she'll cut me off...and I don't want her out of my life. Yet.

Allah y9abirna bs.

December 1, 2007 at 11:44 AM  

Hey sis..
Will you let me know if you find out that answer, Because I sure want to know!

December 1, 2007 at 11:59 AM  

I dont think it will ever stop.
what changes is the way you deal with it
Every time it hits you you have a different re-action...
I think.. its something we learn from...
it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt but you also know that you cant stop them..
advice that they might not consider is all you can i think... we all have to go through this to learn regardless the age... some people go through certain things at the age of 17 and some at the age of 30...
its all the same though.

December 1, 2007 at 2:47 PM  

Unbearable as it might seem, as one gets older, one must learn to accept that there's only so much one can do to help the people you love.

You do the best you can and then leave the rest to them.

You learn to stop feeling helpless.

You learn to stop feeling guilty.

You just learn.

December 1, 2007 at 6:35 PM  

I like what John Stewart from the daily show once called group think "retardation"
I guess its everywhere and nothing wrong w/ expressing your opinion when you think someone is hurting themselves.
But peer pressure is always gonna be there and at times it will lead to stupid results.

December 2, 2007 at 8:37 AM  

oh please our community is the bonfire of social pressure and peer pressure and it comes from people unintentionally and weak souls steal and kiss their dignity goodbye coz they would be drunk with peer pressure it's sick and believe me saying no and knowing ur lines is something more valuable than diamonds. having said that, dayum that last line was CORN CHEESE cliche

December 2, 2007 at 12:03 PM  

Honey you should arrive to the point where you stop taking responsibilty.
They're adults and can tell what's wrong and what's right.
They'll realize their decisions consequences later. After all, what's life without lessons? ;)

December 2, 2007 at 5:00 PM  

i can so relate to this post:*

December 3, 2007 at 12:57 AM  

it's never been easy.. it wont get easier!
this is life!
we change ..our beliefs.. approach to life..everything changes
i guess in your case you have changed but your friends haven't and you find it difficult to go with the flow anymore
i think thats normal. it's happened to most of us
and if you're worried about a dear friend that is hurting him/her self.. fa you do your part and advise that friend wel bajy 3alaih!
i hope what i said made sense
good luck!

December 4, 2007 at 2:29 AM  

the little child inside each of us grows by time.. and gets more stubborn thats why some people u notice them they are holding to their stupidity :)

December 4, 2007 at 4:48 PM  

it's never easy.. somehow you ending up hurting either way, by being the helpless outsider, or the bore who wants everything to be safe and danger-free.

December 7, 2007 at 12:06 AM  

I am having lots of problems in this field because more often than not I find myself left out.

Thankfully I have two very opposite groups, so when one leaves me out I am definite the other would embrace me for that day!

But when you look at it, it is the need to belong that drives us to do these things. No one likes to be cast out, but it is important to hold your ground and your beliefs as well

December 7, 2007 at 9:00 AM  

I agree..
I understand..
I live the same state..
And I'm feeling oldER!!
I applaud!

December 9, 2007 at 7:20 PM  

Theres no cure...

December 10, 2007 at 3:03 PM  

nope it wont stop .. were surrounded by idiots!

December 10, 2007 at 11:22 PM  

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